Due to weather.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Anyone tired of this weather yet? Or tired of hearing about it? I know I'm tired of thinking about it lol!! This snowfall reminds me a lot of growing up in Alberta. With a few key differences. We have hills, lots of them!! Everyone there is used to the snow, is prepared for it, and experienced in driving in it. The tires on my van are not good and I'm nervous about driving in the snow. Thus I haven't been out of the house since Sat. We will be putting on new tires as soon as possible but that doesn't change anything in the meantime. It took Rod more than 1/2 hour to get out of the driveway this morning, but once he did he said the roads seemed fine. There is not school again today so I don't have to worry about digging the van out although I think I'm going to ask Rod to help me clear away some of the snow tonight so that if I can or have to leave tomorrow I can. I was up several times last night having snow and van and driving anxiety. Stupid anxiety. And of course Payton was up like 5 times as well so we are tired in this household today.
I hope the weather ect co-operates with the candle light parade tomorrow night, I'd really like to go and it seems like a good reason to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!
Let's see if I can come up with other news.
I think I noticed the baby having hiccups yesterday. I love that.
I'm 27 weeks along now, when did that happen!! I was watching my ticker for so long, I was sure I'd notice when we got into the double digits. All of a sudden I look and it says 87 days to go!! WOW!!
I realized that we haven't taken a single belly picture, by now with Payton I had tons!! Oops!!
Hope everyone has a good day!
Posted by Michelle at 8:38 am
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Damomma has captured much of what I've been thinking this year when it came to Christmas and money. A good read here.
Posted by Michelle at 3:42 pm
Now just to get envelopes, addresses, and write in them......
Posted by Michelle at 11:36 am
The weather channel online is forecasting another 30-40cm of snow starting this afternoon!! 30-40!! What's with that? As much as I love the snow, I'm happy with what we have for awhile! I really do need to dig my van out sometime!
At the least temps look warmer!! Check it out here.
Posted by Michelle at 9:06 am
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I had a hard time sleeping last night. It took forever to fall asleep due, I'm sure to sleeping yesterday in my migraine induced nap. Then as I lay there listening to the wind and imagining how slippery the roads were going to be this morning I developed anxiety about Rod driving this morning and kept waking up. He's gone now, I made him take my cell phone as his hasn't been working. I pray that he and everybody else out and about today stay safe and sound. Me...I'm staying in.
Posted by Michelle at 7:56 am
Monday, November 27, 2006
Yup, I had/have another migraine today. I'm totally choked. Nothing for months then twice in 2 days. I'm not sure why I'm just grateful I was able to go to bed promptly with both and sleep a bit as that's the only thing that helps when I can't take any good drugs(and I can't). Basically now it's down to a bad headache which I can manage. Stupid head.
Posted by Michelle at 8:24 pm
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I can't believe it's still snowing with such great determination! I ended up with a migraine this afternoon which is frustrating because I haven't accomplished anything(except playing in the snow this morning!!) I have the bathtub full of water in case our power goes out, and a full pot of water simmering on the stove for the same reason.
I still can't be around bright lights or move quickly but I hope to clear some clutter and get my cards done tonight. As I always tell Payton "We'll have to wait and see".
Posted by Michelle at 4:49 pm
Well, this isn't a snow day pic, just thought it was to cute. My little movie star!!
Daddy pushing Payton UP the hill. She kept telling him it was "Too slippery Dada"
Looks like my van likes the snow too!!(Thanks Phil)
Down the street out front the house.
We all love the snow around here! Although Payton wasn't to sure about walking out in the deep snow.
Taking cover from the wind.
What's wrong with this picture?? Maybe the lawn chairs, tarp, and kiddie pool?? Anyone up for a swim?
Posted by Michelle at 11:27 am
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
It's very exciting!! Snow in the forecast! Of course I've heard many forecasts telling us to expect snow at different times but that's to be expected!! I was downtown today and when I looked towards the hills the snow line is getting lower!!
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!
WOW!! I just noticed the Weather forecast on The Weather Network says a low temp of -20 C for Wed!! That's COLD!!!! Brrrr........
Posted by Michelle at 12:35 pm
I started feeling halfway human yesterday afternoon, so last night I pulled out something constructive that needed doing(from the dreaded list) and stayed up WAY to late.
Now I'm exhausted....((((Sigh)))).....
Posted by Michelle at 8:19 am
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
I've been not feeling well this week and getting more and more fustrated at what I havn't been getting done. I thought this morning if I sit and make a list of what needs doing by when I'll feel better because I'll feel more organized.
Nope...wrong....Instead it was a sit and look at the list and cry moment. Stupid list. I deleted it.
Christmas stuff, house stuff, baby stuff....and I'm just so tired....Hopfully I'll start to feel better soon and get some energy back. Then everything won't seem so big.
What I really need for Christmas is more space....and organization...and energy.....Sigh.....
Posted by Michelle at 9:37 am
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I did a google search about what Christmas means to me. I found many sites with quotes from kids and others about what Christmas meant to them. I was fun to read. It made me reflect about my childhood and Christmas experience.
As far back as I can remember I loved Christmas. My Mom was a single parent(Dad was around...sort of), and I think she worked really hard to make sure I didn't miss out on anything. Looking back I wonder how she managed it all. I hope I can be a fraction that good of Mom to my kids. I loved the decorations, the music, the feeling of joy in the air. I loved baking cookies with my Mom and Grandma, we would make gingerbread houses from scratch! I loved Christmas shopping, the hustle and bustle always excited me(now not so much). I just knew we were going to see family and loved ones we hadn't in awhile. I loved the Christmas Pageant at school and handing out cards to all my friends. We would drive around looking at all the lights, I loved checking out others Christmas trees and spent time looking at all the ornaments. I loved that I got a new dress to wear and that we made gifts for Mom and Dad at school. I loved leaving out cookies for Santa and the anticipation of waiting to see if he was going to come. I remember one night driving home late from a Christmas Eve gathering and I spent the whole drive scouring the sky for a glimpse of Rudolph's glowing red nose, the times we were away from home Christmas morning I worried Santa wouldn't find me. But he always did! I loved going out and picking out our Christmas tree and bringing it home to decorate, carols blaring. Of course now I have a fake tree!! LOL!!
Where was Jesus in all this? Not very present. I wasn't raised in a Christian home. We did though have a variety of Christmas books including the Christmas Story which we read every year. I knew Christmas was Jesus's Birthday but didn't really know the full extent of what that meant. I always had a sense as a child that someone was out there watching me and taking care of me. One morning I watched a televised church program on TV(nothing else on!!) and listened as they talked about how God gave us his only son, and how he watched out for us and took care of us. I thought "oh that's who it is" and they said if you believed you should repeat after them and invite Jesus into my heart, so I did. I didn't realize at the time what that meant, only that it felt right and I knew it was true. So on Christmas I would remember Jesus however briefly and say thank you. I obviously want Jesus to be a much bigger part of our families Christmas.
There was no worry as a child of how we were going to pay for everything, or where we were going to find the time to get everything done. It just happened. I love that for Payton everything is magical with no adult worries, I want that to last as long as possible for her. Eventually she will grow to accept adult responsibilities but not now!! Now I gladly carry all them for her! Which brings me to what Christmas means to me now. But I'm much to tired to write anymore at the moment so that will be part II.
Posted by Michelle at 9:53 am
Monday, November 20, 2006
I'm sick. Head achy, congested, tired, Sore throat, achy, yucky sick. :( It shouldn't surprise me as I've been so run down lately. It just hit me suddenly. Payton has also been whiny, mommy attached, and congested. So I don't think she's feeling well either :(
The weather just got nasty!! Raining coming down sideways, wind blowing strong. I DON'T WANT ANOTHER STORM!! I like my power on(whine whine complain complain)
I'm out of laundry soap.
Posted by Michelle at 3:54 pm
As I was driving around Sat evening I noticed 3(YES 3) houses with Christmas tree's already up!! So those of us that want to get going on the decorations go for it!! Have no shame!! We aren't the first!!
Do you have favorite Christmas songs? I love so many old carols and new songs but there are a few that take me back to my childhood. Songs I listened to over and over again as a child on my mom's record player(that makes me feel very old). I add new favorites to my list every year but these ones will remain with me forever.
-Roger Whitaker : Momma Mary
-Roger Whitaker : Christmas is here again
-Nana Mouskouri : Old Toy Trains
What about Favorite Christmas Movies? My fav as a child was hands down Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. I do also love It's a wonderful life.
I've been thinking a lot about what Christmas means to me, past and present. But I need to go clean my kitchen so that will have to be my next post.
Posted by Michelle at 12:51 pm
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Don't you love it when the weather reports are wrong?? It was beautiful!! No rain, a little wind(which blew away the clouds), and some sunshine!! Imagine that!!
We had a blast! Jordana and Matthew braved the train with us and Rod met us downtown. Payton was beside herself to actually be on a train, she was so worried it was going to leave without us!! Her favorite part of the parade was the dancers, horses, Curious George, and of course Santa!
I have some pictures but they will have to wait until Rod gets home as he took the camera with him.
We are both so exhausted I think tonight will be an early night. I hope this week is a little calmer than last week, I need some catch up rest!!
Posted by Michelle at 6:40 pm
the old man is snoring.....
And off we go spend a day downtown Vancouver. Are we crazy? Maybe, but I know for a fact we won't melt!
Posted by Michelle at 8:12 am
Friday, November 17, 2006
Looks like we won't be going on the train on Sun. I was so looking forward to it. :(
Rod leaves for a work trip that day. He forgot about our plans. It's all booked and they are expecting him Mon morning.
I probably shouldn't be so upset but I've been looking forward to it for so long. I could go without him but we've hardly seen him this week(and he's going to be late again tonight) and then he'll be gone on the trip. I think Payton needs the time with her Dad. And I'm honestly so tired right now I can't even fathom trekking into Van for a day by myself with Payton, especially when it looks like the weather isn't going to be nice.
Sigh.....I think I'm farther into exhaustion, frustration, and overwhelm than I thought.
Posted by Michelle at 5:53 pm
Well not really!! No power for almost 14 hours with a 2 year old was quite an experience. She thought it was fun for awhile but eventually as the sun went down and she got tired, it just wasn't funny anymore. What do you mean there is no lights? What do you mean I can't watch a show? What do you mean you can't warm up my milk? She was not a happy camper. No power with well water is interesting as well, no power means no water. It's amazing how much more I appreciate being able to flush the toilet, it really is a luxury. I cheered when the power came on.
I'm tired today, this week has been long long long. And it was a short week! Sun we attacked out room, there is still so much to do but at least now we know what has to be done and where everything that needs sorting is. It feels good to have started to make room for the baby. Payton walked into our room on Mon morn and exclaimed "NO MESS!!!", what does that tell you? Mon we went shopping with my mom. It was awesome, we hit Value Village and went from there. She ended up buying a whole bunch of stuff for Payton which she really needed(shoes, coats ect). I can't say how much relief I felt this week when the storm started and I knew I had proper clothes for Payton to wear. Thanks Mom!! You rock. She still needs a really good winter jacket but we have layers for her that will suffice nicely in the meantime. Tues I had Matthew and managed to do a bunch of organizing, wed was the power outage, yesterday I had Payton's Musikids class and the dentist( :p). It's been a go go go week and I'm feeling it. I don't so how it's going to slow down any either being that Christmas is so close! There will continue to be tons that needs doing.
I feel so pregnant. I don't remember feeling so pregnant so early last time. But I tire so easily and feel it in my back and belly already when I need to slow down. Sleeping the last couple nights has already gotten uncomfortable. I feel way bigger at this point than last time but have actually gained less, maybe it's just all out front, I'm not sure.
Well, I think that's enough for whining! I really am looking forward to Christmas and all the festivities that surround it. I love spending time with family and friends. I love looking at the lights and listening to carols. I love the Candle Light parade. We're taking the Santa train into Vancouver and the Rogers Christmas parade on Sun!! I'm very excited to take Payton on the train, I think she's going to have so much fun!! I'm looking forward to making my Christmas Cards. I'm looking forward to the LaFarge Christmas Party, Payton had a blast last year, she's so fun to watch! I've been having fun looking at all the toys, Payton is to young to be asking for anything specific so we get to check everything out and decide what we want to play with, just kidding!!(but we will play!!)
I could go on, but now I'm just killing time and this post has gotten long! I need to go tidy while my kid is sleeping and I have an ounce of ambition left!!
Posted by Michelle at 11:53 am
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
I want to feel Christmas
by Third Day
I want to feel Christmas
how it used to be
with all of it's wonder
falling on me
the season has felt so empty
oh for quite awhile
I want to feel Christmas like a child
I want to see snowflakes
fall to the ground
my brothers and sisters
all gathered around
singing away in a manger as we sit by a fire
I want to feel Christmas like a child
It's been so long now I can't say,
just when I lost my way
and I'm going back to how it was
like a child
when this day ment everything
we spent our time remembering
the baby child born for us
it's all about Jesus
asleep in the straw
sent from this king
the savior for all
so I don't need bells to be ringing
because I'll join with angels singing Gloria
And I can feel Christmas like a child
I want to feel Christmas like a child(repeated)
Note: I couldn't find the lyrics online anywhere so I typed them out while I listened so they may not be exactly right.
Posted by Michelle at 7:51 am
Monday, November 13, 2006
Did we get so much STUFF?
And how did we fit it all in our bedroom?????
Posted by Michelle at 8:03 pm
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Posted by Michelle at 7:47 pm
I love it when the sermon at church seems to talk directly to you. I dreamt last night our baby was stillborn. It was a beautiful baby girl, I can remember her face vividly. Dark hair and perfect features. I woke shaken and had a hard time shaking off the fear and pain, it threw my whole morning off. Of course baby was quiet for awhile and I just had to wake the little one. A few swift kicks later and I felt a small measure of relief and was able to go about my morning. The message today spoke of trusting God even when your world seems in chaos and letting go of the chaos. I was able to give the fear that had been gripping me this morning back to him, trust that he will take care of this baby, that he is best equipped to take care of this baby.
It is of course every mothers worst fear that something bad happen to their children, but it doesn't have to be an all consuming fear.
Trust, it brings peace.
Posted by Michelle at 3:11 pm
Saturday, November 11, 2006
I LOVE WEEKENDS!!
And it's a long weekend!
I got to sleep in.
Payton's playing with her Dad.
Posted by Michelle at 12:10 pm
Friday, November 10, 2006
I'm a naturally shy person, I tend not to initiate conversations, I shy away from making phone calls. I isolate. It stems from low self esteem and non-existent self worth. I instinctively believe that people don't really want to talk to me, or spend time with me so I shouldn't bother them, I shouldn't take up their time. I'm not exciting or interesting, I'm just me. Sometimes I catch these thoughts in mid-think and try to correct them, sometimes I let myself spiral into somewhere not very friendly.
It's no secret I have suffered from depression. Am I there now? I don't really know. I'm tired, emotional and scattered, but I'm also pregnant. I guess we'll know after delivery. I do know that I'm tired of just scrapping by, of working so hard just to stay level.
I've been thinking lately about how my struggles have affected not just me, but those around me. My mom's been there so she understands but I know she worries, Rod is wonderful and doesn't think I'm crazy at all(LOL). I hope I am a stable enough mom for my kids. That is my biggest desire, to be the best possible mom, to give them the best possible start in life.
Do the others in my life know how much I care about them? Friends and Family? I haven't shown support very much recently, haven't reached out. My security zone is not very big and venturing outside it is very scary. Putting myself out there just feels so hard. So my relationships suffer. I haven't been the friend I want to be, the person I know I am. I care so deeply about so many people yet don't let them know. I worry about them, love them, but from afar. And that's not fair to them. I can't expect them just to know how I feel, especially when I'm so good at hiding how I feel.
I have a lot to work on, but I guess we all do. In truth me and my issue's are just a variation of normal. I think Christmas is a good time to reflect and reach out, to try to show others love. To remember what it's all about and let that reflect in my life.
So to all those wonderful people in my life, family, new friends, old friends, please know you are much loved and thought of on a daily basis. Your presence in my life is so appreciated. I love you.
Posted by Michelle at 9:25 am
Posted by Michelle at 9:17 am
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
It really is!! QUICKLY!!!! Yes, I'm excited but ARGH I'm also overwhelmed. So many things to do and think about. Even you who are in denial about how close it is can't ignore how little time there really is left to get anything done.
47 days until Christmas
32 week/work days
14 weekend days
So how many shopping days is that? How many days with my husband home? How many of those days are going to be booked with parties and outings ect? OH MY!! At Christmas I'll be 31 weeks along!! PANIC PANIC PANIC. K, breathing...one thing at a time!!
I guess it's time to stop thinking and start doing.
Posted by Michelle at 10:30 am
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I finally FINALLY got Matthew to sleep. I need to eat, I need to shower. Of course I clean up after Payton, check my email, download a song, and he's awake. That was a shorter nap than even Payton used to have.....Sigh.....
Just found this song remade by Gary Jules. I really like it. It's very melancholy though. Which suites my mood I guess.
Tears For Fears
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Their tears are filling up their glasses
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I´ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
´cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It´s a very very
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Now the teacher tells me what´s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny...
Posted by Michelle at 10:33 am
Monday, November 06, 2006
I found out yesterday I didn't have to pick up Andrew. Ok, great chance to get some running around done(which includes getting my license replaced as I can't find it). Spend a day out, just me and my kid!!
Last night was horrible, I wasn't feeling well, didn't get much sleep. Then this morning Rod calls. The car died on his way to work. Then his phone died. And my BCAA coverage expired because I have a new Visa # and forgot to tell them. ***Sigh*** Good thing we have some wonderful friends. Thankfully he has made it to work as he managed to call there before his phone died and someone went to get him. The car is still somewhere on the road though. I think he and Phil are figuring that out. Trying not to worry.....
This was the first month in a long while that it looked like I wasn't going to have to stress about paying the bills now there's something wrong with the car. What are we going to do without the car? I have no stinking clue. I'm trying so hard not to stress.
Posted by Michelle at 9:12 am
Saturday, November 04, 2006
I figured out the design for my Christmas cards!!!
Now I just have to make them......
Posted by Michelle at 11:21 pm
Friday, November 03, 2006
I was out last night and I came home to this on the computer screen. Rod was playing with the camera(long shutter speeds and light).
Isn't he sweet?
Posted by Michelle at 12:57 pm
I am talking about toddlers. They are an interesting, amusing bunch. Life is never dull when you have a toddler in the house. I just never know what she's going to come up with next and she leaves me in stitches daily. Of course she also has the capability to drive me absolutely insane.
Her idea of cleaning lately is pushing everything to me with her feet so I can pick it up and put it away.
Yesterday Andrew was trying to build a tower out of blocks and Payton wanted to "help" only her help lead to the toppling of the tower every time. The destruction is her favorite part so she accidentally on purpose managed many topples. Andrew was getting a little frustrated so I instated a no touching rule. So then she "tapped" it with her toe. I explained that touching included the use of any part of her body. So then she was trying to blow down the tower(think 3 little pigs), that wasn't working so she got really close and started "ah ah ah CHOOing" at the tower!!. She's a resourceful and determined little girl. Exasperated sigh....
While eating cheerios yesterday she decided to see how far she could fling the milk spilt in her tray. It was all over the floor, couch and blanket(on the couch) before I could stop her.
This morning while eating I was watching her only to notice she was taking mouthfuls of milk, opening the neck of her shirt and spitting it down. I asked her if she was spitting milk down her shirt and she nodded and grinned at me happily.
She has started telling Knock Knock Jokes. Yes!! Already!! They generally consist of "Knock Knock, Who's there?, ME!!!" (Laughing wildly) Variations include "ME AGAIN!", and "Orange"(copying Andrew).
She has a fascination with the toilet paper, specifically unrolling it....
She has started dressing herself. If you see her one day with her shirt on backwards or inside out it's because she put it on all by herself and was so proud I couldn't change it!
Posted by Michelle at 9:38 am
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Scientists believe they have solved the mystery of cot death, the leading killer of children in their first year of life.
Posted by Michelle at 10:34 pm
What IS up with the upside down trees this year?
I googled it and came up with some info. Apparently it was a 12th-century tradition in Central Europe. They are either attached to the ceiling or are weighted at the base. And one of the selling features is that it leaves more floor space open for gifts and better displays ornaments.
I don't know, it just looks wrong to me.
The picture came from the Canadian Tire website here.
More info on this here and here.
Posted by Michelle at 6:13 pm
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
We went to a friends Church for a family fun night. Payton had a blast. And when she realized they were giving her "treats" well that just added a whole new dimension!! hehe. Then we went to Grandpa and Grandma's house. It was a nice night.
Payton in the bouncy castle. She was in that multiple times!! Oh yes and the first thing she spotted was the face painting and quite enjoyed being a kitty!
"Look what they gave me Mama!!"
In her Tiger costume growling at mom.
Do I really have to sit here?
Posted by Michelle at 12:53 pm