Friday, February 18, 2005

Is it just me??

Does anyone feel like sometimes they arn't in control of their own brain?? Like they are sometimes taken over by aliens or maybe have a split personality. I feel like there is two of me sharing this body, Michelle, the real me, and my evil twin, who looks just like me but thinks very differently.

Most of the time I'm fine, better than fine, I'm doing really well. Enjoying being a Mom and Wife, spending time with family, friends and the Lord. I feel pretty good about myself, of course there are areas that could use improvement but I'm working on it.

Then she shows up out of the blue, telling me how horrible I am. Your a bad wife, a bad mother, and a bad friend. You can't even keep your house neat, your so lazy. You need to loose weight, look how horrible you look. She hates everything about me, how I dress, how I walk, how I talk, everything. Sometimes she points out other people to make me jealous. Look at her, she looks so good, don't you wish you could look like that. Look at him, his relationship with God is so strong, yours sucks in comparison, look at her, her kids are so well behaved, yours will never be like that. Look at her, her house is so clean you could eat off the floor, when's that last time you washed yours?? ECT ECT ECT.

SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I used to think she was just part of life, she would come a go as she pleased, there was nothing I could do about it. Now I know the truth, I can throw her out!!! I HAVE THE POWER!! Sometimes a gentle nudge will send her flying, sometimes I have to shove her out the door and sometimes I have to get down right nasty before she'll pick up her garbage and leave.

As you can probably tell she visited me this morning, and I kicked her @ss right out the door. I feel wonderful!!

I, Michelle, am strong in the Lord, and in other ways as well!!


Mandy said...

You are powerful and strong and beautiful and wonderful! And I'm so proud that you stood up to "her". I think your evil twin and my evil twin are best friends. :) We should gang up on them and beat them together!!!

rose said...

your evil twin probably has a whole sisterhood. ever since my tendonitis i compare my house to now, as to when i could do housework. i've gained weight being at home, ect., ect. i hear the "evil twin" in my head every day. like you i have learned that listening to God's truth helps throw the twin out the door. thankfully we have a Father who just keeps saying that he loves us over and over again. eventually we hear him.

kaybrayshay said...

This a struggle that I have to!! The other day when you were visiting, my evil twin started talking to me!! Saying that I must be a bad mother, because Payton does certin things and Brayden doesn't. Like waving her arms in the air for you. My twin was saying, "Well, I suppose your son doesn't want you. You must be a bad mother".

The whole evil twin thing is why I started counselling on my own. To help deal with it. I have been dealing with the twin for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was around 10.

Totally understand where you are coming from. My blog "alive" was about letting go.

Love you and I am here for you. I am proud of you for letting go!!

Michelle said...

Brayden loves you so much he lets you sleep all night, everynight and takes nice long naps so you have Kaylyn time and won't go insane!!! Our babies are so different!! There have been so many times I was sure Payton didn't love me, but it was just my silly evil twin talking in my ear. Man she's a busy girl!!

Lori said...

ya, i have an evil twin too. Her name is Twisted Sister! (and sometimes I quite enjoy her company!)

Shari said...

This is definitely something we all struggle with. I think our evil twins are definitely on Satan's payroll. Down with evil twins. Let's stand together and kick em all back into the darkness!!!

James Goudie said...

Heman would say "I HAVE THE POWER!" and hold his sword up to the sky.

i wonder if they still air it on some channel somewhere, that was a long long time ago.

Sue said... go girl...!