Saturday, April 30, 2005

Darn quizzes, keep me coming back.....

I really liked these ones, probably because they said nice things about me!!

Your Birthdate: April 29

Your birthday on the 29th adds a tone of idealism to your nature.

You are imaginative and creative, but rather uncomfortable in the business world.

You are very aware and sensitive, with outstanding intuitive skills and analytical abilities.

The 29 reduces to 11, one of the master numbers which often produces much nervous tension.

This is the birthday of the dreamer rather than the doer.

You do, however, work very well with people.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

Friday, April 29, 2005


My landlords are finishing the backyard and have said they will make me some flower beds. I have been wanting to plant something lately, I'm not sure why I want to have a garden, the urge has never hit me before. The problem now is that I have no idea how to do anything to do with gardening!! Any suggestions?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


Payton woke tonight screaming like she was being murdered, I tried to get her to go back to sleep, to no avail. So I went and picked her up, the instant she was in my arms her whole body relaxed, she stopped crying, touched my face and tucked her head into my neck and closed her eyes. I melted, it's so wonderful to be loved like this. To all those people who hear about other people's children and wonder if they should have any, don't decide about what you see or hear, listen to your heart. There's a joy that comes with parenting that is indescribable, a feeling that can't be compared to anything. It's all consuming, passionate and soul wrenching. A little piece of me, my heart, mind, body, and soul is living outside me now. I never knew love could be so big.

So I sat with her curled in my arms, looking at her with awe, she's so perfect. I still cannot believe that I helped create something so beautiful, that I am her Mommy. It's an awesome gift and responsibility that God has given me, he must really trust and believe in me. I talked to her for awhile, telling her everything I loved about her, and as I talked her eyes opened a little and she watched me intently and with such adoration that I began to cry. I love her so much it hurts.

I heard God in this moment telling me that as much as I love my baby, he loves me, and more. I can hear him listing off one by one, everything he loves about me. I could feel him cradling me in his arms, gazing at me with awe. He's asking me why I feel such self loathing, for I am his child and am perfect. Everything about myself that I hate, he loves.

How can I be anything but perfect when God created me?? God wants me to learn how to love myself. I have seen myself now as he sees me, felt the warm fierceness of his love wrapped around me, I have no choice now but to hold my head up with confidence, for I am beautiful.

Monday, April 25, 2005

The Superstore Incident(x2)

Incident #1

Last Monday I was in Superstore buying groceries. Picking out some jarred baby food I accidentally knock one off the shelf. Sweet potatoe plunges to the ground with a nice smash. I step back automatically so the jar doesn't land on my foot instead sweet potato soaks my foot(and my brand new CLOTH flip flops), and the bottom of my jeans as the jar lands. @#*&$@(#). So I'm trying not to walk around because I don't want to a) leave the glass unsupervised b) spread sweet potato all over the store as I walk c) feel the sweet potato as it squishes between my toes. But as there is no one in sight I am forced to venture out to find someone to help. As I'm walking I glance down to see if I'm tracking gunk all over the floor and I notice my foot is no longer orange but red. Crap I'm bleeding. It didn't hurt but looked nasty as it bled a lot and mixed with the sweet potato to form a thick congealed looking gooey mess. Pretty I know. So finally by the cosmetics I find 2 employee's the first takes off to clean the mess. I then ask for something to clean my foot off with. She glanced down and almost freaked out(it did look pretty gross). She started asking if I was ok, can I walk, really really worried. I was fine, embarrassed-yes in pain-no. So she calls first aid(at this point I'm starting to get really embarrassed) who is the assistant manager, whom takes me to the back to check it out(you really can't see the cut at this point.) So here I am sitting in the back room with some strange man washing my foot. I was mortified, I kept thinking "at least I cut my nails". So finally he determined there was no glass in the cut and I was fine(I knew that) and let me go. I ran straight for the tills and got out of there. The cut never hurt,yet developed a nasty bruise all the way around it. I wasn't going to share this story because of my humiliation but after the incident today I felt I should, which leads me to

Incident #2

Back at Superstore, again buying jarred baby food. Being VERY careful not to knock any off. I have the food sitting behind Payton in a cart. As we are shopping she keeps turning trying to grab at the food. Being paranoid I move anything breakable to the bottom level, free from wandering hands. Minutes later SMASH, I can't freaking believe it. I don't know where she found that jar(yes it was sweet potato again), it must have been hiding, but she found it. I stare in disbelief at the floor in front of me and the sweet potato once again wedged between my toes(DIFFERENT fabric sandals @#$%@##*). I wait in horror to see if I'm bleeding, holding my breath. Finally I decide I'm not injured(THANK GOODNESS) and flag an employee working close by to clean up the mess. Quickly(ignoring my soiled foot) I move to the check out. As I am waiting in line I notice the assistant manager on duty, Yup-same one. If I had cut my foot again it would have been the SAME GUY washing my foot. Can you imagine?? As I'm leaving I have to walk by him, I make sure my foot covered with sweet potato is as hidden as possible and make move as quickly as I can without raising suspicion. I think I'm going to stay away from baby food for awhile. Good grief!!

Friday, April 22, 2005


The big question at bible study today was "how normal is your brain?". Hmmmmm.....not sure I want to go there!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005



Would a weekend trip make it easier for anyone to go shopping???

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Quizzes....gotta love them(thanks Shari!!)

What age do I act??? Apparently I act my age, go figure!!

You Are 25 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

I also have the brain of a girl, which is good!!

Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl

Which isn't a bad thing at all

You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.

You're a good friend and give great advice.

This is my fav!!

You Are 45% Normal

(Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal...

Other things you do are downright strange

You've got a little of your freak going on

But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

If I were a crappy gift....

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.
You make a good puppet.

Who knew??

You Are Incredibly Logical

(You got 88% of the questions right)

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic

You think rationally, clearly, and quickly.

A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!


And we have breakthrough!!!!

Yes folks it has finally happened!!



It's sad really how easily excitable I am.....

Monday, April 18, 2005

Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig.....

My bed never felt so good.

After a long week of poor sleep without Rod home and a weekend of virtually no sleep I could almost hear my body saying thank you as I climbed into bed last night. I'm not sure if the air mattress was uncomfortable or if it was just my rock and roll baby but sleep eluded me this weekend. It was slightly better sat night, she went down pretty easily but we old folk stayed up visiting until late. Then she woke at 230 to eat and wouldn't go back to sleep in the crib. So in bed with mom she came, it was after 4 when she finally gave into sleep and then was up again by 7. It was after she finally fell asleep that I woke a) having to pee and b) with horrible heartburn. I did not want to move in case I woke her so I suffered in silence. Poor poor me. LOL, I'm so pathetic. Rod of course slept through much of this but redeemed himself by getting up with Payton at 7 and letting me get a couple peaceful hours of sleep!

Other than the sleep thing we had a really good visit. It went so fast, they live much to far away!! I'll post some pics when I find the camera(I'm thinking maybe Rod took it).

La la la la la la la la la la la(Think The Smurfs theme song)

There's a song out now about what it would be like if cartoons were saved. Kristen had to play it for me, it was pretty funny. Apparently though the smurfs theme song got stuck in Micah's head, he was humming it all day Saturday. Guess what's stuck in my head now??? AHHHHHHH......

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Hello from Vernon!!

Well we made it safe and sound without any problems. Well, actually we left late because I had another migraine in the afternoon and Rod had a flat tire when he got into the Vancouver airport(Welcome home Rod, now change a tire in the rain). But once we got going everything was good. We've been having a good visit, although it seems we brought the rain with us.

Now for the rant part of my post, tell me again why my baby doesn't sleep?? When we arrived here last night it was after 12 and Payton woke up figuring it was time to get up and play. So we visited for a bit then tried to put her in the crib, not happening. I figured if she was in bed with us she would just cuddle in and sleep. Nope, I had one of the worst nights sleep I have ever had, she complained, kicked, patted, cried, wiggled, pulled, and rolled. She would not sleep!! Once I woke up in a panic because I could feel she wasn't under my arm and there she was sitting on the floor by the bed(we were on an air mattress) playing. When she saw I was awake she just smiled and chatted a bit at me, she was mighty impressed with herself. If this is how she is going to be when camping we are NOT going. AHHHHHH.

Then there's Zada. Quiet little content Zada who is awake for 1.5 hours then sleeps for 1.5-3 hours, is awake for 1.5 hours then sleeps for 1.5-3 hours ect ect ect ect. I wasn't aware that babies like this actually existed. Kristen had told me but I guess I didn't believe her, or didn't want to anyways!! Payton dug deep into the genepool until she found the red hair and temper to go with it. I still have no idea where it comes from. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby with all my might, she's got more personality and spunk than she knows what to do with but would it be so bad to sleep once in awhile???

I just pray she'll sleep a little better tonight, a little better, that's all I ask for.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Lets make a date....Otherwise known as Ikea trip

Misty didn't think you'd see my comment in my last Ikea post.

So, Is Tuesday good for everyone?? What time do you want to go, be back home ect??

Anytime is good for me. Let me know, either here or email me.


Rod was on 1st on standby to get home tonight, and wouldn't you beleive it EVERYONE showed up for the flight. Now he's not home untill tomorrow 1:30pm. Yuck.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Is my husband ever coming home??

I know it's only been a few days but it feels like he's been gone a really long time. Sappy I know, but I miss him. I never get much sleep when he's gone, I go to bed late because I hate to go to bed by myself, and once I go I have a hard time sleeping. He's the one on the trip and I'm exhausted!! Go figure. Thankfully he should be home tomorrow, late tomorrow, but still tomorrow. Then maybe I'll get some sleep....

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


My respect for my mom and all other single parents out there has grown immeasurable amounts since Payton was born. Parenting is hard enough when you have both parents supporting each other, I couldn't imagine doing it on my own. Single parents do not get the respect and acknowledgment they deserve. Thank you to all the those out there who have or are raising kids on your own, it is a tiring, selfless job. Thanks Mom, for caring enough to give and give and give, just to make sure I didn't miss out on anything, I just hope I can do as good of a job as you did!!


So I am getting a migraine, for the second day in a row. What is going on? I caught this one right away so it shouldn't get to bad. Just had to share my misery with the world.....

Monday, April 11, 2005


So who wants to go on a trip to Ikea and when would be good? I'm pretty busy this week, next week would be fine(except sat, as that's the Duke garage sale). We should go early and have Ikea's cheap breakfast together. It's going to be fun!!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Feeling Older

So I guess this goes along with getting older. We(Rod and I) did something I thought we never would. We bought a Mini-van.(Rod HATES Mini-vans or rather Mini-van drivers, see his blog for more details) It's 95 Dodge Caravan, about all we could afford. It does have air conditioning and power everything which is very exciting!! Our car is just to small to tote around everything a family requires, and having only one vehicle was a real hassle. We were debating getting another vehicle and knew there was no way we could afford something new. This vehicle came into the possession of a friend of a friend, the owners basically walked away from it because they didn't want to put any money into it. So it got a new transmission and some other work done and we bought it at a pretty reasonable price. So now we officially own a "family vehicle" and it is making me feel old!!!

Hey, I could be a driver on our trip to Ikea now!! Have we set a date yet?

Friday, April 08, 2005

Getting Older

So I have a birthday coming up and I havn't decided if I want to do something to celebrate, and if I do then what?? Any suggestions?


So after all my efforts to get us ready to go to Vernon, Rod's work tells him they're sending him to New York on Sunday. Howz that for warning?? All my fustration and overwhelm, for nothing NOTHING!! I was so looking forward to seeing Kristen!

Oh well, we are going to go next weekend(hopefully). And this time I am going to start packing before Thursday!!


Anyone hear of 8 month olds not napping???

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Downward Spiral

It's amazing these days how little it takes to make my whole world feel like it's spinning out of control. I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope and one little wobble could send me flying.

I realized this morning that it's thursday, usally realizing that it's thursday it not a big deal. But when your leaving for Vernon on Fri and you suddenly realize you need to pack it's an "oh crap" moment. Ok I can do this, then realizing in order to pack you need clean clothes, hmm....laundry time. Baby crying. Then you find there is no spray'n wash left. Someone once told me sunlight works, ok, grab the dish soap. Payton picks today to be clingly, doesn't want to nap, doesn't want to entertain herself, grouchy unless I'm holding her AAAHHHHHHH. Realize I have to pick Rod up from work because I thought I was going to need the car....didn't. Overwhelm hits, call and cancel my plans for today. Baby crying again. Phone ringing. Baby down for a nap. Suprise 10min later baby up. Feed baby. Try to work on laundry. Baby crying. Phone ringing again. Notice my kitchen needs cleaning. Baby crying. Ignore kitchen. Working on laundry again, realize I havn't washed anything of Rod's. Baby crying. Put baby in crib, crying. Sit down try to calm myself down. Quiet, baby sleeping. Great now I can finish laundy. CRAP-havn't showered yet. Heading for the shower praying baby will sleep longer than 30min.

Update: No luck, she woke when I was in the shower, by the time I went to get her she was a little ball of rage ****sigh****

Sunday, April 03, 2005


I am shy, plain and simple, painfully shy at times. I've worked very hard at stepping out of my comfort zone and interacting more. I'm very happy with "safe" and "predictable" and "security". I need to know what to expect out of a situation or I get visibly rattled, the unknown freaks me out completly. I don't like to ask for help, even at a grocery store, I will walk in circles for awhile before I will ask where something is. I don't even like calling people on the phone, especially if I don't know them well. Even calling to order pizza is nerve racking some days. Some days I feel more shy than others. I think my confidence in myself is a factor, I worry people will see me as I see me. I worry I will say something stupid. I worry I will come accross in a way I didn't mean to. Recently I have been struggling, I know God wants me to reach out to people more, but I don't know how. People are busy living their lives and I don't want to intrude(hows that for self confidence, apparently I see myself as an intrusion). Yet I want for people to know I care, and want to lend support if it's needed. I'm not wise or have a ton of advice, but I have good ears, a comfy shoulder and a big heart. God made me this way for a reason and I'm sure he wants me to use my gifts(I don't fully understand them but I'm working on it). I just don't know how.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

She's reverting

I just don't understand. This parenting thing is very confusing. Her sleeping habits are getting worse again, she was doing so well at one point, even sleeping through the night. Now she's back to being up at 11ish, and 3ish and 5ish. I'm really starting to feel run down again. I've been told she shouldn't NEED to eat at night anymore she just WANTS to. But she's so insistant and goes right back to sleep once fed. I just don't know, I hate it when she cries. So we are trying something new starting right now(Rod's feeding her), when she wakes up to eat she has to stay in her crib(I'm under suspicion she just wants the cuddles) she can eat but isn't allowed up. We'll see how that goes. If she's just up for cuddles(and I wouldn't blame her) she "should" wake up less. Who knows, this feels so hard.