Sunday, June 05, 2005

Let me tell you a story.....

I have been letting myself get stressed over money recently. It's so easy to do, we have many bills to pay, and soon my income will be gone. Then we realized that we owed a whole bunch to the government. It just seems sometimes that it's one thing after another, that we just can't get ahead and that we'll be living month to month forever.

While I was letting myself drown in self pity I realized I hadn't given God a chance to help me, I hadn't prayed about my financial worries. The thing is, I feel unworthy to ask. I feel like I shouldn't be praying to ask for money, it seems so petty. I'm still trying to take care of myself, to be independent and self reliant. How can I expect to grow closer to God if I can't trust him, if I can't even ask for help. I am so good about asking for others, but not for me. My first thought is "what can WE do to figure this out?" The answer is Pray, pray hard, give it over to God and let him figure it out. Then wait and listen, when he answers you'll know it. I want so much for my family that sometimes it's hard to understand that God wants so much more.

We were supposed to be leaving for vacation on sat, out to Alberta to visit some relatives. I almost cancelled this trip SO many times out of money worries. We had finally decided that we should go right before we did the taxes. I freaked out, and almost cancelled again. That's when I realized I needed to pray about it. So sitting in my driveway with Payton sleeping in the backseat I let out all my worries and fustrations to my heavenly father, amongst tears of fustration and shame I bared my soul, I humbled myself and admitted I couldn't do it alone and asked for help. His response was immediate, I felt a peace wash over me, his warm embracing presence was all around me, I was told I was being taken care of. I gave a big sigh of relief and opened my eyes and smiled in peace. As I turned and glanced out the window I noticed, a ray of light was sneaking through the clouds and shining down as if to say "I am here, I will light your way", it was magical. Payton and I went inside and hardly any time had passed when I got a call from Rod. His boss had offered him a business trip that he would get three service fees from if he wanted, but it would delay our holiday by a few days. I couldn't believe it, three service fees plus what I am getting back is almost exactly what is owed!!! Rod has never gotten three service fees from one trip before, God works in unexpected ways!!

Needless to say, we are leaving tues night or weds for our vacation.


Stacey said...

That is so awesome...I know it is so clique but in this case so the truth..."let go and let God" and that is just what you did...Amen sister!

rose said...

we have such an awesome God!

enjoy your trip. 8)

Miss-buggy said...

That was cool. I loved it when you told me that. It is hard to hand our financial worries over to Him because it does seem so petty. HE works though.
Love you.
Have an awesome trip.

Nikki said...

Thank you for sharing... I love hearing other people's faith-building experiences. Have a safe trip! :-)