Saturday, January 14, 2006

As much as I always look forward to weekends, they always seem to be a let down. I think it's my fault in that I build them up, expect to much from them. Then when another weekend is gone without meeting my expectations I always feel bad, mostly mad about myself for not utilizing the time I had more efficiently. I need to let it go and just enjoy the time I have, time with my husband, time with my daughter, time away from home, just enjoy the break not put to many expectations on it. I do that though, have high expectations, for everything. It seems to be my undoing so often. I build things up only to crash when they crumble. The good news is I've been working on it, maybe not lowering my expectations per say, but making sure I don't have unrealistic expectations.

Overall it seems to make me a happier person, and that's what I want. To be more content where I'm at. Am I where I thought I'd be by 26? Nope, is that ok? Most of the time(can't say yes, that wouldn't be completely true). The truth is I'm not where I thought I'd be but I also have so much more that I wanted. There is a much bigger world out there, much more important things than having the dream career, a big house, and money to spare. I've met many well off people, they weren't any happier than we were, some were downright miserable. We have so much more under our little, cluttered two bedroom suite than many people have in mansions. We have family, we have love, and we have God. What else is important? I'm sure the other things will come with time, but maybe they won't and I can't let myself be wrapped up in material things.

I am thankful for what I have.
-I am thankful for a wonderful husband(who let me sleep in this morning because I'm not feeling well even though he's tired too).
-I'm thankful for a beautiful rambunctious daughter who constantly reminds me what lives all about.
-I'm thankful for family who loves us and watches over us.
- I'm thankful for friends who are more like family, with whom I can share with and feel safe doing so.
-I'm thankful Rod has a job.
-I'm thankful to be able to stay home with my daughter.
-I'm thankful for landlords who are friends and care about us, not the money.
-I'm thankful for our health.
-I'm thankful for a God who loves us no matter what and will always take care of us.

I'm thankful for my life.