And she boils over.

I've been having a rough time, and you know what? That's o.k. I'm not someone who processes things quickly. I need time, that's how I work. I will get through it, I always do. Right now I'm sad, moving ahead one step at a time, but I've had some good moments too. I'm not going to put my happy face on anymore, try to smooth it over so people won't worry or judge. I found out a week ago that we've lost a second baby, only a week. My grief, my anger, all my emotions, they are justified. What I'm feeling is valid and I'm tired of people telling me to focus on what I do have, and look at the positive. Don't get me wrong I'm very grateful for Payton and for the baby still growing away inside of me, so grateful, but I still need my time to work through everything. Just because I'm expecting does not magically take away my other emotions. And it does not mean I love the ones I lost any less. Does anyone expect people to magically get over a loss of a child or a parent or a friend? Please, just give me time, don't judge, don't diagnose, just support. I also apologize to my friends for not being there for you lately. I've been selfishly wrapped up in all my crap, I admit that. I still love you all and appreciate your support I just don't seem to have anything to give at the moment.