Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Discipline and Deer

Payton turned 2. And oh my is she ever 2!! She's stubborn and strong willed(and wonderful). She pushes her boundaries almost constantly and some days lately I feel that all I'm doing is disciplining. We're trying time outs with her and feel sometimes that it's going to be a losing battle. For those of you with kids what is your experience with discipline? I know it's consistency but do some kids respond differently to different types of discipline??

I was at a friends house recently and Payton's behavior was horrible!! I just couldn't believe her. This friend is a strong advocate of spanking, says besides the fact that it works it's biblical. I have a hard time with that on many different levels. First being that someone else was trying to tell me how to discipline my kid, my back goes up and I get defensive. Payton was being naughty yes but your kids are no angels either(I didn't say it of course). I have a hard time with the idea of hitting my kid as well, at least for everyday naughtiness. I'm not dead set against spanking, there are certain times when it's definitely warranted and needed. I don't know. I'm just struggling with keeping on top of my active, spirited kid whose latest thing is testing me and my boundaries. I love my kid she's incredible, smart, vibrant, beautiful and loving. She's just been a handful lately, right when I haven't felt up to dealing with it. It's just a phase I know!! Thank goodness!! I just worry about adding another child to the mix when I'm struggling now.

Sigh. I'm so tired.

Emotionally I've been tired this week too. I was trying to figure out why(besides just being pregnant), I think it's because at this time in my last pregnancy I had had my Ultrasound and was waiting for my next to confirm the bad news. This sat coming up would have been the day I had my D&C. I know I shouldn't be focusing on that, worrying about it, and I wasn't consciously but it's always there. I've been trying to decide if my tummy's grown, if I still feel pregnant ect. I want to put up a pregnancy ticker on my blog but am afraid of having to take it right down again. I can't wait until the first trimester is over, then I will relax, well relax more anyways. I remember with Payton I loved it when I could finally feel her move on a daily basis, then I knew she was doing ok in there. Geez, this has gotten depressing, sorry about that just needed to spill my guts a little.

I'll leave on a good note. This morning has been good. Payton slept in, which means I slept in as well. In fact I'm still in my jammies, was still in my jammies when Carolyn dropped Andrew off(oops). When I did wake up(Payton was still sleeping) I went and got some coffee, and let the dog out(I'm dog sitting my mom's dog), and noticed a Doe with a Fawn eating leaves in the backyard. I had a few moments of quiet peacefulness watching the deer and sipping my coffee before I heard the patter of feet racing towards me. A little later after Payton woke Andrew was doing "tricks" with his stuffed dogs Snuffy and Mrs Snuffy. Payton was sitting on the couch watching, well more like cheering him on. It was SOOO cute. She would go ohhhh and ahhhh and exclaim "Yeah Woofs" while clapping enthusiastically. So if I manage to sneak a shower in and get a load or 2 of laundry done I'm going to call today a good day!! Hope everyone has a good day!!


Shari said...

Yes, Michelle, every child responds differently. Aren't the 2's fun??? NOT... we have just recently entered the wonderful world of full on tantrums. The best thing for those is to turn your back and walk away (provided that the child is safe and won't get hurt). Its amazing how quickly they stop when there is noone to react.

as for methods of discipline, yes consistancy, but go ahead and expirament. She will provide you with numerous times to try things out. At 2, it is always hard to see any immediate results as it seems they are always right on to the next ordeal. With Vicki, I have to remove her from the situation and get right down to look her in the eye. Eye contact helps with getting her to change her focus. We use 1-2-3 a lot and have been since she was just a wee thing. She knows that there will be consequences if I reach 3 and her behaviour hasnt changed. Consequences usually involve being removed from what she is doing, having a culprit item taken away, time outs, and on rare and serious occassions, a spanking. (remember that consequences have to be great enough to impact the child, but equal to the offense) Vicki is a headstrong little girl, and will try mutiple times to get away with something, and if i am not consistent with my responses, she will notice and its back to square one.

Hang in there. You will have good days and bad days. And you will need to learn to pick your battles.

on another note... yay for sleep in days. Vicki has been sleeping late lately. I love it. I can sometimes go back to bed after darin goes to work. (which really helps, cause he is a night owl and i am just so not these days)

Miss-buggy said...

Yes... Little miss Payton. You need to experiment, like Shari says, I think and just see what works for her and you.
I can only imagine your anxiousness with this pregnancy and if it makes you feel any better there were MANY days I didn't feel pregnant. Even when I was huge. We are praying for you.
Yeah for sleeping in!! Glad you got some rest.
Love you guys.

lori said...

congrats michelle, i didn't even know you were expecting again when i saw you - you look wonderful!

steph said...

I agree with Shari on everything but the 123 thing, I don't do that because why not 4, or 12 or 56, the eye contact is huge, removing her is also important. Also the willingness to stop everything you are doing and deal with her. It seems like a big deal but she will quickly notice that she is dealt with every time. I cannot tell you how many phone calls I have interrupted or shopping carts filled with stuff I have abandoned. We called it the buck stops here and I refused to be embarrassed by my children in public. My life went on hold for 6 weeks, now they are wonderful and all I have to do is say. It stops now or we will leave. As for the biblical stuff, yeah it is biblical but so was slavery and having multiple wives. the verse is spare the staff, spoil the child, and you would get arrested for hitting a kid with a stick these days. What happens when you are legally not allowed to hit your kid than what will you do? It does not work I could hit my 4 year old with a 2x4 and it wouldn't work. Do everything in love Corithians 16;13-14