Sunday, November 12, 2006

Today.

I love it when the sermon at church seems to talk directly to you. I dreamt last night our baby was stillborn. It was a beautiful baby girl, I can remember her face vividly. Dark hair and perfect features. I woke shaken and had a hard time shaking off the fear and pain, it threw my whole morning off. Of course baby was quiet for awhile and I just had to wake the little one. A few swift kicks later and I felt a small measure of relief and was able to go about my morning. The message today spoke of trusting God even when your world seems in chaos and letting go of the chaos. I was able to give the fear that had been gripping me this morning back to him, trust that he will take care of this baby, that he is best equipped to take care of this baby.

It is of course every mothers worst fear that something bad happen to their children, but it doesn't have to be an all consuming fear.

Trust, it brings peace.

4 comments:

jewels said...

I had a dream like that... it was so real. I had a dream that my baby was born severly disabled and had a brain disorder.
It really scared me and I was not even pregnant. To this day, that dream haunts me. It haunts me so bad that it has prevented me from having another baby. That may sound really silly to you but I tell you it was so real... too real - like a message or warning or something.

Miss-buggy said...

WOw. You are strong. I had dreams like that the tore at me too. I think it is a very real fear for you right now. Understandably and it played into your dream. I am sorry you had that dream. I hate the ones where something happens to our children.
I am glad church spoke to you. Awesome.
HUGS

Michelle said...

Jewels: I don't think that sounds silly at all. Dreams can be so real. I didn't pay to much attention to my dreams until my first pregnancy when I had a couple dreams that came true(nothing bad). Now I get freaked out when I have bad/scary ones. I think what if this one will come true too???

Shari da loop said...

trust - such a small word... such a HUGE concept. that has always been a hard one for me. Don't get me wrong... I can trust, but I mean full on, complete with-my-life type trust, that is hard.