Tuesday, October 19, 2004


I had a moment today, a realization. I'm always worried about everything that needs to get done. Since Payton's birth I've had substantially less time to do anything, I really feel some days that I've accomplished nothing. I know, I know, Payton wouldn't agree. I'm doing a great job, my job now is raising my daughter, blah blah blah. And although I do agree my world often seems like chaos. My list of things that need doing is a mile long and growing insanely fast with Christmas coming. And I am lucky to check off one thing a day. For example with Christmas coming I think about Christmas cards. Which wouldn't be that bad except I am still plugging away on Thank you cards. I would make Rod write them except his writing is bad, really really bad.

Anyways back to my realization. Life really is about choices. I can choose to let everything get to me and slip back into depression. Or I can let it slide off my back and spend my time enjoying my family. I'm learning to pick my battles and let God help me out when things seem unmanageable. I'm trying to live life one baby step at a time and see everything through my daughters eyes.

One other thing about choices, they are equally important on small things as well. I could use my 30min free time when Payton naps to vacuum or clean the tub. Or I can make myself some lunch or have a shower. What would you do?? No one's going to have a shower here anyways, and even if they do, too bad.


susanna said...

eat and shower. take care of yourself. the house stuff can wait, its never ending anyway. but you need some "its all about me" time.
praying for you. understand totally where you are coming from. they do grow up, they do leave home - and now i have so much "me" time, i don't know what to do with it all!!! now that's wierd.....

Anonymous said...

have your shower with Payton, and that'll give you even more time to yourself while she's napping...any extra minutes you can grab!