Yesterday I had a break down(just a mini one). I was feeling pretty good after my long nap and decided to clean my kitchen. Now I don't proclaim to be the neatest person in the world but over the past week and a half my home had reached a state of C.H.A.O.S. Can't Have Anybody Over Syndrome. We have a small place and to much stuff, so any extra mess in the house drives me absolutely crazy. So when a friend called to see if she could stop by I lost it. I got absolutely hysterical, overwhelming feelings of failure and panic were washing over me. That's right when Rod walked through the door(poor guy), and Misty was dropping Payton off, I felt like a total failure as a wife, as a mother, as a person, in every way . I'm home all day and I can't even keep my house tidy, what good am I?? I got over it and we did a 30min power clean, which made me feel so much better. It's funny how we(I) place so much importance on outside appearances, that one thing could cause me to go from fine to meltdown in 10 secs. I guess I'll have to work on that...
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OK.... You are not a failure. You are an absolutley wonderful mother, wife and person. You are a wonderful example for me and I only hope that I can be as good at the things you do when it comes my time. You and Payton were both sick this week and last. That is a pretty darn good excuse to me. You are sick and that can cause the meltdowns a lot quicker too.
I took your little girl so you could sleep, not clean anyway.
You are a wonderful person and I am proud of you and all you do.
I love you.
Forget it Michelle. It will NEVER be clean again! Take it from me (or don't...), get some good antidepressents and ride the wave!!!!
OK Michelle...
lesson number 1 - you are not a failure. see above what Misty said.
Lesson number 2 - your husband, daughter, friends and family are going to love you whether your home is in C.H.A.O.S or if it were "perfect".
Lesson number 3 - ask for help. Being a stay home Mom, especially when running on little sleep, is not easy. Your husband, friends and family know this. Its ok to ask for a break. What Misty did for you yesterday was wonderful, and you need breaks like that more often!
Lesson number 4 - even if you have to tell yourself 50 times a day, keep telling yourself, "it does get better, and easier",
Lesson number 5 - you must find a way to take a small Michelle break each and every day. It doesnt have to be a huge thing, but it is important to remember than in order to be the best wife and mother you can be, you must also take care of yourself. See lessons # 3, and #4.
May I recommend that you take some time over the next few days to check out Flylady.net if you havent already done so. By your CHAOS acronym, it seems maybe you are already familiar. But she has a great system for people living in CHAOS, by dealing with organizing your home and life 15 mins at a time. It has helped me get more organized (although I am resistant by personality to be organized, so it is a long slow process that will probably never end hehe)
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forget it Michelle. It will NEVER be clean again! Take it from me (or don't...), get some good antidepressents and ride the wave!!!!
Thanx Guys. Somehow I've got my self worth wrapped up in some pretty strange places. I'm trying to dig it out but it's hard. I just found the Flylady website yesterday and it gave me a big chuckle. I've always said my house is in CHAOS, I just didn't have the accronym to go with it!! I have them sending me emails but I have yet to read any.....
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