Thursday, April 07, 2005

Downward Spiral

It's amazing these days how little it takes to make my whole world feel like it's spinning out of control. I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope and one little wobble could send me flying.

I realized this morning that it's thursday, usally realizing that it's thursday it not a big deal. But when your leaving for Vernon on Fri and you suddenly realize you need to pack it's an "oh crap" moment. Ok I can do this, then realizing in order to pack you need clean clothes, hmm....laundry time. Baby crying. Then you find there is no spray'n wash left. Someone once told me sunlight works, ok, grab the dish soap. Payton picks today to be clingly, doesn't want to nap, doesn't want to entertain herself, grouchy unless I'm holding her AAAHHHHHHH. Realize I have to pick Rod up from work because I thought I was going to need the car....didn't. Overwhelm hits, call and cancel my plans for today. Baby crying again. Phone ringing. Baby down for a nap. Suprise 10min later baby up. Feed baby. Try to work on laundry. Baby crying. Phone ringing again. Notice my kitchen needs cleaning. Baby crying. Ignore kitchen. Working on laundry again, realize I havn't washed anything of Rod's. Baby crying. Put baby in crib, crying. Sit down try to calm myself down. Quiet, baby sleeping. Great now I can finish laundy. CRAP-havn't showered yet. Heading for the shower praying baby will sleep longer than 30min.

Update: No luck, she woke when I was in the shower, by the time I went to get her she was a little ball of rage ****sigh****

8 comments:

Miss-buggy said...

suck.....
LOVE YOU!!!

kaybrayshay said...

There will be better days ahead. Just sit down and breath. Love ya, Kaylyn

Anonymous said...

it is anorexia that caused the being underweight, but as with many problems the severe restricting was leading to severe bingeing. it is a scary place to be, but God handled it very well. He put me in all the right places when i needed it the most. i know He'll keep doing it for all of us.

search yourself for you weaknesse, that is where He is the strongest. and use it.

Lori said...

Let Rod and Payton go to Vernon. Stay home yourself!

(I've been there SO many times. You really should come over and see my laundry room. It will encourage you! (It's BAD!)

Good luck!

Shari said...

Awwweee Michelle. Every Mom knows those days. ((((hugs)))
Vicki was most of the night on WEdnesday night, if that makes you feel any better. lol

Michelle said...

We are going to Vernon to visit MY friend so I think everyone involved wouldn't be impressed if I stayed home!!

Miss-buggy said...

or YOU can go and let them stay home. I guess the ladies retreat can't come soon enough....

Michelle said...

I don't think Kristen would be happy with me if I didn't bring Payton!! Oh well, now I have another week to pack!!