Sunday, April 03, 2005

Shyness

I am shy, plain and simple, painfully shy at times. I've worked very hard at stepping out of my comfort zone and interacting more. I'm very happy with "safe" and "predictable" and "security". I need to know what to expect out of a situation or I get visibly rattled, the unknown freaks me out completly. I don't like to ask for help, even at a grocery store, I will walk in circles for awhile before I will ask where something is. I don't even like calling people on the phone, especially if I don't know them well. Even calling to order pizza is nerve racking some days. Some days I feel more shy than others. I think my confidence in myself is a factor, I worry people will see me as I see me. I worry I will say something stupid. I worry I will come accross in a way I didn't mean to. Recently I have been struggling, I know God wants me to reach out to people more, but I don't know how. People are busy living their lives and I don't want to intrude(hows that for self confidence, apparently I see myself as an intrusion). Yet I want for people to know I care, and want to lend support if it's needed. I'm not wise or have a ton of advice, but I have good ears, a comfy shoulder and a big heart. God made me this way for a reason and I'm sure he wants me to use my gifts(I don't fully understand them but I'm working on it). I just don't know how.

5 comments:

Shari said...

You have a beautiful heart Michelle.

I don't know, it seems to me that you have been reaching out. I see you commenting on people's blogs, offering support, encouragement and a helping hand. Actually, I have never really perceived you as being really shy. Going back quite a few years, when Julie H. introduced us the first time, I remember that you had a very warm smile and a welcoming spirit. And you probably dont even remember meeting me. So what does that tell you? Well, it tells me that God made you just right. =)

kaybrayshay said...

Michelle, you are a wonderful person. God made you in his perfect vision. He sees no flaws. For you are perfect in his creation.

You are a wonerful wife, mother and friend. I love you dearly.

PS.You got along great with Teri...when you 1st met her!!

Miss-buggy said...

Funny how comfortable we get in our comfort zones. Happy with what we know. Then God ocmes and tells us that there is no more hiding- no matter how hard we try.
I think that you have a wonderful gift. You listed it. A big heart, a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen. You are not an intrusion. I think that you are using those gifts. I always know that I can count on you for a hug.
You are beautiful.
I love you.

Stacey said...

I don't know you...just stumbled across your blog, but I would venture to say the more self-aware you become about your not wanting to be shy, the more you are led by the Lord, the more you are letting Him deal with your heart, the more bold and unshy you will become.

I heard someone preach just last night, that we're not getting out of our comfort zone if we're not uncomfortable...we've got to be uncomfortable, so it can truly be all of Him and none of us!

You have a beautiful heart and I am sure as these other comments have shown it comes across to others. I myself have the complete opposite problem...I think often open wide and insert foot...I'm working on being sensitive to the spirit and being led to speak what He would have me to say...sorry for the ultra-long ramble...it's not often you cruise through blogger and find a good one!

Shari said...

hey Michelle... liz and I are going to be doing some shopping today in Abby. Wanna meet for coffee?? Give Liz a call so we can plan. =)