Thursday, May 26, 2005

I'm doing it again

I'm letting my self worth be tied up in how well I run my household. When I was younger and much more naive, I had visions of what it would be like when I had a family. I would stay home with the kids, who were always well behaved. My house would always be spotless because really what else do I have to do? Dinner would be on the table for when my husband got home, so we could have a family dinner. And somewhere in there I still had time to play with the kids, and have ample time for me. Add in there something about saving the world and looking like a supermodel and you have summed up my life's ambitions 10 or so years ago.

Since then I've had several healthy doses of reality, I realize that life just harder than I thought. I know that I'm not a failure because my house is never spotless and I rarely have dinner ready when Rod gets home but I also can't help thinking that with Payton being 10 months old that I should have this a little more figured out by now. How come some days I still can't manage to get a load of laundry done?? I have one small child, what's going to become of me when we have another??

I am so thankful that God is 100% pleased with me, I don't have to live up to any expectations for him. Now if I could just let myself off the hook.....

3 comments:

kaybrayshay said...

Yes the dailt struggles with being a "deperate housewife". I still struggle with these things. Even though I am working now, it does not make it any easier. Shayne is helping alot more.

It is hard not to get over whelmed. Enjoy the moment you are living in. You only get to live life once!! God created you, Michelle, to spread your joy!!!

Miss-buggy said...

yeah, when we were younger we lived in that false sense of reality. Then reality hits and we realize that we are only human and we try our best. I think that being a mom is a tough job. I see it. Makes me kind of nervous to have kids because I wonder if I could handle it. My house is not clean now and rarely do I have dinner on the table for my husband with my work schedule and all.
Reality bites, doesn't it?

cari said...

Andrew loves your place, isn't that all that matters??

Funny how kids don't see dirt or mess.

I heard once that a messy house is a happy house......