Let's start with a positive note, I had a really nice evening out fri and sat. Was starting to feel slightly human again. Today I came down with Payton's cold with a vengeance, no wonder she's been miserable.

Dad was in the hospital again. Last week for 4 days. He didn't tell me as he didn't want me at the hospital. There were infectious disease controls going on, it was probably for the better, last week I don't think I would have handled it very well. Do you remember me saying I didn't think he should be going home so soon? I was right. When he went back to the hospital days after they released him from Langly they still found morphine and valium in his system. Essentially when they released him he was very very drugged. When he added some alcohol to the mix(to escape the detox) his system didn't handle it well. They cleaned him out very thoroughly this time. Also I was concerned about his mental state this time, he was hostile, and delusional. His Dr, got a specialist to see him and they ran some tests and found he has some swelling on one part of his brain. They are going to drill a hole in his head to release the pressure, nice hey.

Anyways between this, everything else, and now having Payton's cold, I'm feeling pretty crappy. I keep thinking that this isn't real, it's all a morbid daydream that I just need to snap out of.