Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Christmas Memories

I did a google search about what Christmas means to me. I found many sites with quotes from kids and others about what Christmas meant to them. I was fun to read. It made me reflect about my childhood and Christmas experience.

As far back as I can remember I loved Christmas. My Mom was a single parent(Dad was around...sort of), and I think she worked really hard to make sure I didn't miss out on anything. Looking back I wonder how she managed it all. I hope I can be a fraction that good of Mom to my kids. I loved the decorations, the music, the feeling of joy in the air. I loved baking cookies with my Mom and Grandma, we would make gingerbread houses from scratch! I loved Christmas shopping, the hustle and bustle always excited me(now not so much). I just knew we were going to see family and loved ones we hadn't in awhile. I loved the Christmas Pageant at school and handing out cards to all my friends. We would drive around looking at all the lights, I loved checking out others Christmas trees and spent time looking at all the ornaments. I loved that I got a new dress to wear and that we made gifts for Mom and Dad at school. I loved leaving out cookies for Santa and the anticipation of waiting to see if he was going to come. I remember one night driving home late from a Christmas Eve gathering and I spent the whole drive scouring the sky for a glimpse of Rudolph's glowing red nose, the times we were away from home Christmas morning I worried Santa wouldn't find me. But he always did! I loved going out and picking out our Christmas tree and bringing it home to decorate, carols blaring. Of course now I have a fake tree!! LOL!!

Where was Jesus in all this? Not very present. I wasn't raised in a Christian home. We did though have a variety of Christmas books including the Christmas Story which we read every year. I knew Christmas was Jesus's Birthday but didn't really know the full extent of what that meant. I always had a sense as a child that someone was out there watching me and taking care of me. One morning I watched a televised church program on TV(nothing else on!!) and listened as they talked about how God gave us his only son, and how he watched out for us and took care of us. I thought "oh that's who it is" and they said if you believed you should repeat after them and invite Jesus into my heart, so I did. I didn't realize at the time what that meant, only that it felt right and I knew it was true. So on Christmas I would remember Jesus however briefly and say thank you. I obviously want Jesus to be a much bigger part of our families Christmas.

There was no worry as a child of how we were going to pay for everything, or where we were going to find the time to get everything done. It just happened. I love that for Payton everything is magical with no adult worries, I want that to last as long as possible for her. Eventually she will grow to accept adult responsibilities but not now!! Now I gladly carry all them for her! Which brings me to what Christmas means to me now. But I'm much to tired to write anymore at the moment so that will be part II.


no angel said...

wonderful blog Michelle

write more - please - write more