Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Mind like a load of laundry

You know, waterlogged, spinning around in circles. I feel though that I'm almost done, coming into the spin cycle. When I emerge I'll be fresh, and clean. Maybe still in need of a dryer and iron, but at the very least a work in progress.

Hmmmm....think I got ahead of myself there. Let's start at the beginning shall we?

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately, mostly inwardly but some outwardly as well because it's all connected. I've been feeling rather dis-jointed lately, and that's a trend in my life. I plod along rather well for awhile then I seem to loose my footing. I think it's rather common and everyone has their seasons yet I feel like I'm missing something, or missing out on something maybe? One thing that has been rather slow in coming to me is that there are important chunks of me missing. No I'm not missing limbs or digits(your welcome for the visual;) ) but there are internal parts of me missing, maybe unexplored is a better term. I have often struggled with self image and self worth. I think in reality I don't really "know" myself. I have gotten wrapped up in what I do instead of WHO I am.

The Christmas season is rapidly approaching, and this seems like a good time to explore me. God made me as I am, he sent his Son to save me. Me as I am, not me how I think or feel I should be. I have often felt I am not worth getting to know, that I'm boring or something equally demoralizing. But if I believe in God(as I do) then I have to accept that I was made without mistakes. I am perfectly as I am supposed to be. If God created me then I have to be worth getting to know.

So I want to surge forth into self-discovery. And I want to share my journey with you, well actually I don't want to but I feel like I should. Over the Christmas season I long to get to know God better, I want to draw close to him and let him show me all that I am, all that he created me to be. I want to thank him, and praise him for sending his Son to us, and celebrate with him that Birthday so long ago that brought us all Hope.


2 comments:

Kaylyn said...

What I know about you:

caring
loving
depenable
thoughtful
creative
accountable

What I know you are:
a wonderful wife
a spectaular Momma
a best friend
a loving daughter

The journey that you are on, is one that I am on as well. There days where I feel as if I am just "getting by". Days, where I am asking myself " Is this where I am and what are my actions going to reflect in the future". It can be daunting and hard if you feel as if you always focusing on the NOW and not finding the time be with yourself and growing. It is important as a Momma to do this. Love you and I am down the same road. Let's get on the journey together. Maybe we should do something wild and crazy...that would shake things up a bit :)

Michelle said...

"I think in reality I don't really "know" myself. I have gotten wrapped up in what I do instead of WHO I am."

Yay! I'm happy for you that this journey has begun! It is a long one and reveals it's truths in pieces.

I will enjoy reading about this journey so am very happy that you are going to share it with us. :)