I'm tired of being so negative and pessamistic, that's not what I want to portray. I think I'm going to take a break.

Where does your help come from?

Again I sit to write, write what's been swirling in my head for so long now, only to be at a loss for words as I sit here. My thoughts seem to get lost somewhere between my brain and my fingers. Or maybe they're filtered or blocked by the part of me that doesn't want to share.

I'm not doing horribly, I don't think so anyways. I've been in worse places before. I struggle with the sameness, the lack of movement in my life. I sit here waiting for things to get better while inside I'm shriveling. I'm living, breathing, moving forward, but am I? I feel stagnant, old, droopy, and tired. I know there's better out there for me, I have only to make the first step to get the ball rolling yet I feel frozen. I'm angry with myself for the hole I've let myself slide into. I've set up home here, decorated a little, added some new furniture, made it habitable, but it's still a hole. So here I sit and wait for someone to come pull me out. I want someone to rescue me. Look!! Look!! I'm feeling down, Look Look!! I'm hurting myself, Look!! Look!! I need help.

I so desperately need the God I've been working so hard to push away. I've developed "issues" with God, let them get way out of control. They've become unsolvable, questions there are no answers to. Topics I can't wrap my head around. My head has become like my house, so cluttered I don't know where to start. How can I start to weed out all the junk? What's my first step?

I've been told it's a journey, sounds reasonable enough, now I just need to open the door and take the first step. It's here that I freeze.



This popped into my head as I was writing. Thought I would share.


Psalm 121

'I lift up my eyes to the hills --
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip --
He who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you --
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm --
He will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forever more.

They're home

Misty and Cooper are home!! Read about her birth experiance here.

Wow!! You guys are parents!!

And baby makes three!!

Congrats to Misty and Phil!! I am so excited! He is so beautiful!

It's a boy!!

Congratulations to Misty and Phil on their new baby boy!

Cooper Luke Wishart arrived this morning at 6:??.(Phil wasn't to clear on that hehe), weighing
7lbs 7 ounces and 19.5inches long. I'll leave the rest of the story for Mom and Dad to tell/

Mom and baby are doing well!

I can't believe they're parents!! I'm so excited!! hehe!

Can't wait to meet you baby boy!

Just in case anyone was wondering

No, we're not doing a clean sweep today. There is just so much going on right now that adding one more big event would just cause stress. Crazy days.

That said, I do intend to still do one, maybe late May??

OK, I actually included the link now.

Can you tell a serial killer from a computer geek?

Find out here.

I got 6/10

So it's Sunday night, not even nine o'clock, which thanks to daylight savings is actually eight o'clock. And I'm exhausted. Wow. Cleaning just isn't going to happen.

When did I get old?

DARN IT!!!

I just remembered that it's daylight savings tonight. I'm going to loose an hour of sleep!!! And I'm still up!!!! That SUCKS!!

Off to bed I go.

Case in point

Rod doesn't know where he put his passport. He is leaving in the morning for Orlando. We are tearing this place apart looking for it. When you have stuff everywhere you have to look everywhere. The little bit of cleaning that had been accomplished today has been undone. If everything had a home, this wouldn't happen. ARGH!!

My mom didn't raise me like this, honest.

What's with that?

So I'm checking out my site meter(I love to see where people come from) when I notice something very very strange. Over 500 page views today!!! What the??? It has to be an error or some sort, but it's funny all the same!!

Maybe I'm just that interesting!! LOL!!!

HELP!!

My house is driving me nuts!! I'm so overwhelmed by the clutter that I get intimidated and don't do anything. I need a clean sweep and I think I'm finally desperate enough to ask for help.

HELP!!

If I figure out a day to overhaul, and find a sitter, is there anybody willing to help? I would love it to happen before the Duke Garage sale. But as that's the 22nd, I'm thinking that won't happen. Unless anybody is free on the 14th? That is Easter weekend though. Hmmm...... Even if we just got one room done?

I am slowly going crazy, oh heck, who am I kidding, I'm already there!

Rod posted the other pics for me but missed this one. As it is one of my fav's I am posting it now. Misty, You have such a cute belly! Thanks for letting me practice on you!!

YEAH!!

Finally!! We have internet again!! We were experiencing technical difficulties that were out of our control and finally we are back online!! I tell you, I went through some big withdrawal! I feel so out of the loop. Rod posted those pics from work.

Did I miss anything?

we finally got some Preggy pics of Misty

here is a couple of sample photos

Dance anyone?

So I have two tickets to the New Heights dance that I won't be using. I forgot to check my day planner before I bought them and wouldn't you know it? I have a very important person's birthday party that day!! This is why I should always check my planner BEFORE making decisions.

So if anyone decides between now and tomorrow night that they want to go I have tickets!

I refuse!!

I'm sitting here colouring with Payton when all of a sudden my throat hurts, by body aches, and I have a headache. What's with that? I just got over being a sicky, I refuse to get sick again!!!

Rod's bringing home drugs and to bed early with me!!

How come when my kid sleeps I don't?

5 Stages of Grief

5 Stages of Grief

Grief is a somewhat commplicated and misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are the same.
There are five stages of grief. If we get stuck in one stage or the other, the process of grieving is not complete, and cannot be complete. Thus there will be no healing. A person MUST go through the five stages to be well again, to heal. Not everyone goes through the stages at the same time. Or in the same order. It is different for each person. You cannot force a person through the stages, they have to go at their own pace, and you may go one step forward then take two steps backward, but this is all part of the process, and individual to each person. But, as stressed, ALL five stages must be completed for healing to occur.

The five stages of grief are:
1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.

Took this from Kristi's blog. Was thinking about the different stages a bit ago and what do you know??? There this was on Kristi's blog. Stupid stages.

Yeah!!

My blog was down for about 12 hours but is finally back up!! Yeah blogger for finally fixing the problem!! I felt naked without my blog up? What do you suppose that says??

And then I couldn't post anything for many more hours!!

Very fustrating. Not that I had anything important to say.