Kyle Krichbaum, vacuum savant

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Views from my house.

Samara at 6 months

With a few of Payton at 6 months thrown in for fun!

Payton first time in the bath ring.

Samara today ready for lunch.

One of Paytons first meals

Payton in the bathring

Samara: First time in the bath ring

Samara

Samara: She had just splashed herself!

Payton

Payton

Samara's first cereal

Samara: Guess she liked it(she grabs EVERYTHING now!)

Sleep

I have sleep issues. I feel redundant talking about it but it's my whole world right now. I'm tired, very very tired, close to non functioning tired. Sigh. This could be a boring post.

Everything else seems big because I'm so tired. I was talking to the Health Nurse when Samara was getting her shots and when she asked me how I was doing I said I don't know. And I honestly don't. I don't know if I'm just tired, and that's making me feel bad or if PPD is still there. Samara is up every 1.5 -2 hours at night, wanting to eat. It started 2-3 months ago, I thought she was going through a growth spurt, and she probably was, but then it continued. I'm sure it's just habit now but it's a hard one to break because if she's really hungry I want to feed her. In reality though I'm done, I'm so tired I can't think straight and emotionally, and physically I just feel done. Ready to throw the towel in. Somehow, something has got to give.

The last few days I have upped how much cereal Samara has been getting as well as introducing chicken(which she wasn't sure about). To ensure she is getting enough calories during the day. Then last night we said I wouldn't feed her unless it had been 4 hours. Gotta start somewhere. So if she woke 1.5-2 hours after I fed her(which she did) Rod went and tried to get her back to sleep. She was not a happy camper. None of us got much sleep but I did only feed her 3 times last night instead of 6-7 so I guess that's improvement even if we didn't get anymore sleep than usual. And in Rod's case less sleep than usual. I'm blessed to have Rod to help me out, I think he really sees that I can't go on like this.

We even cancelled our camping trip for this weekend because it's just to much. We are exhausted and then we would be completely off schedule again. I start to fall into overwhelm just thinking about it. It was a hard decision to make because we were really looking forward to going and spending some time with the relative we don't see very often. But we feel we would really be pushing to go. Maybe next year.

Anyways I hear Sam so my complaining is done!

How did everyone out there deal with nighttime sleep issues? Especially when the baby is still in your room?

Samara

Samara went for her 6 month shots today. She now weighs 19 lbs 9 ounces, and is 25.25(as well as I could measure!) inches long. I can't believe she is so big already! She has also started on solid food now! Growing so fast! She sits pretty good as well but we are still working on the balance! I'm not sure if I mentioned her rolling but she rolls both ways. She started rolling from back to front about 2 months ago, then she would SCREAM. She hates being on her tummy. She started rolling from front to back about a month ago but it doesn't happen very often as she doesn't like it on her front. She will usually roll so she can see the floor, check it out, and roll back onto her back to avoid her front, it's pretty funny!

She's become super chatty, and she's LOUD! I know she seems so quiet and serious sometimes but usually it's pretty loud around here between the 2 girls. Sam squeals, shouts, babbles(mamama, babababa mostly), she scrunches up her nose and huffs, she fake coughs now as well and thinks it's great when you do it back!, there are also many many indescribable noises that I have to turn and see who it was! So fun! She was talking away one evening when I was on the phone with my Mom and she asked if that was just Sam because it sounded like we had a houseful of babies here LOL! I need to get it on video and post it because it really is too cute!

One word only: No explanations.

1. Yourself: seeking
2. Your spouse: blessing
3. Your hair: hiding
4. Your mother: amazing
5. Your father: recovering
6. Your favorite item: camera
7. Your dream last night: forgotten
8. Your favorite drink: milk
9. Your dream car: unknown
10. The room you are in: livingroom
11. Your ex: who?
12. Your fear: loss
13. What you want to be in 10 years: growing
14. Who you hung out with last night: Rod
15. What you're not: bored
16. Muffins: chocolate-chip
17: One of your wish list items: Digital SLR
18: Time: short-supply
19. The last thing you did: nursed
20. What you are wearing: clothes
21. Your favorite weather: crisp
22. Your favorite book: bible
23. The last thing you ate: granola-bar
24. Your life: family
25. Your mood: distracted
26. Your best friend: husband
27. What you're thinking about right now: this
28. Your car: mini-van
29. What you are doing at the moment: uploading
30. Your summer: busy
31. Your relationship status: married
32. What is on your TV: nothing
33. What is the weather like: damp
34. When was the last time you laughed: today

David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid of the size of the task, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished. (1st Chronicles 28:20)

Found a blog post this afternoon that I find very powerful. It speaks to me where I am. I'm struggling with many things as most of us are and often wonder why bother?

From Steve over at Ragamuffin Ramblings:

"But I'd pray that my epitaph would be in the lives God has allowed me to touch, the love God has given me to share. Love for the outsider, love for the stranger, love for the unlovable. And for so long as I still have breath, dear God, let me "be strong and courageous, and do the work." There's so much of it left to do..."

For more go here.

6 Months

Samara is 6 months old today! Can you believe it? I can't!

Samara,

My sweet baby, you are 6 months old today. Time goes much to quickly. All I can do is try to enjoy every moment with you I can. You are amazing and Daddy and I feel so blessed to have you in our lives. Payton loves you like crazy, sometimes I have to remind her to give gentle hugs and kisses because she loves you so enthusiastically! Your personality is growing and unfolding. You are quietly intense, looking, taking everything in before reacting. People really have to work to get smiles from you unless you are very familiar with them. It seems like your gaze can see into my soul. Now that I've said your quiet I must add that you can be very vocal, making many noises, babbling, squealing, and laughing. I love hearing you "talk" and we've had some wonderful conversations. Mommy is still your favorite person in the world, but Daddy and Payton follow a quick 2nd. You are very interested in everything right now and are quick to touch, grab, pull, and suck on anything you can get your little fingers on. You like to have quiet time and are unhappy if you don't get play time on your mat. Like your sister you haven't bought into the whole sleep thing but I have faith that you will eventually. I love you so much it hurts baby girl and am looking forward to watching you grow and helping you along the way. Just don't grow up to fast my love I don't want to miss a moment!

Love Mom

Look how you've grown!

Newborn

6 Months(well almost!)

Processing

I haven't been much of a blogger lately. I've said that I have nothing to say really, which is not completely true. There has been a lot going on both around me and internally. I've been using the external busyness to distract me from myself. Which has been easy because it really has been crazy busy around here for a long time. It should be a little quieter now that we are back from vacation which hopefully will give me time to unwind and and unpack.

We had a wonderful vacation. It was great to see and visit with my family. I really miss them. I wish we weren't so far from them. I get so emotional every time we leave, like I'm leaving part of me behind. I guess I am really, my family means so much to me. Love you guys! I am though glad to be home and sleeping in my own bed! It will take awhile to get the girls back on schedule but we'll get there. The girls were great on the trip, adapted very well to the changing locations and meeting new people. I'm so proud of my girls.

I have been on Facebook, and I really enjoy it. But I find it's easier for me to hide there than here though. I'm not as open, as vulnerable. I'm not really writing(like here) just conversing. I've gotten in contact with some old friends and have been able to build more of a relationship with Rod's family which I'm excited about. But it's not like blogging. I don't think blogging will die out because it's just not the same.

Since I've been home I feel like hiding. I always do when something big is over though. It's like I lose all my umph. Emotionally I'm done and need a recharge. I'm sure once I get this place a little more straighted out and catch up on my sleep(yeah right) I'll be ready to go again.

That's all I have for now.