Oh what a night.....

And not in a good way!

Samara didn't have her afternoon nap yesterday and man did she make us pay for it! I'm having a hard time with making sure she gets the sleep she needs(she doesn't sleep well, if at all, when we are out), and making sure Payton gets the activity she needs. Right when Sam is sleeping(mid morning and mid afternoon usually) is right when I would have been making sure Pay was getting outside or out somewhere to play. She needs the activity, she needs the interaction. Sigh.....

New bedtime routines starting tonight to hopefully help save my sanity. Rod's new job started this week, and he will now be getting home an hour earlier!! YEAH!!! We can actually have dinners as a family!! I'm very excited. So bedtimes will be stricter and include both girls. We'll see how it goes and adjust accordingly. I think Samara will be a routine baby like Pay was, like most babies are. Just have to get started on it. I was going to wait until after our company left but there's no time like the present! Needless to say, I won't be going out much in the evenings for awhile!! Call me a homebody!

Only 4 brave guessers on the guessing game? That's sad....

Very tired today. Think I'm going to fold some laundry and go to bed(baby permittng). Shoot! There she is, oh well.

Good night everyone.

Excitement!!

We are getting company!!

My mom told me last week that my Aunt Wanda and Uncle Jim were coming out from Alberta for a visit around Easter! Yeah!!

My Aunt Donna just called and said that her, her girls, and my Grandma are coming out for a visit too, they should be here THIS WEEKEND!!! Its going to be a short visit but I'll take what I can get!

I'm SO SO SO excited!!! I miss them SO much!!!

Payton Funnies

Driving in the car, waiting to turn left:

Payton, "Go Mama Go!!"

Me, "I'll go as soon as I can hon, I have to wait for the cars to be out of the way. You don't want to me to hit anyone do you?"

Payton, "Don't worry Mom, they'll move"


Me Using the washroom,

Payton, "Are you going pee Mom?"
Me, "Yes Payton."
Payton, "Are you going to poop Mom?"
Me, "Maybe Payton."
Payton, "In the potty Mom?"
Me, "Yes Payton."
Payton, "Good job Mom!! I'm so excited! You get potty treats!"

Getting ready to go out,

Me, "Come on Payton find some shoes so we can go."
Payton, "ok Mom" fiddles about
Me, "Payton, get your shoes, don't you want to go see Ethan?"
Payton, "Soon enough Mom, soon enough."

A couple of pics

Guess I should have edited these a bit but as both the girls are asleep I'm going directly to bed after hitting publish. I can always edit later.

Me and my beautiful Payton.

Samara ready to go for her walk. It's the smallest snowsuit ever! So cute!!

How much can one girl poop?

Payton would poop every 7-10 days. I was fine with that. Samara on the other hand is easily 7-10 times a day. The actual changing of the diaper doesn't bother me, it's the fact that even when she would have slept 3-4 hours between feedings at night she will be woken up after an hour or maybe 2 because she needs to be changed.

My night.

10:30- she was(finally) down for the night
11:00- I decided she was finally staying down and went to bed.
11:30- Still awake because I couldn't sleep(what's with that)
11:45ish-fell asleep
12:45- Samara needs a change, then of course wanted a top up, then took about 30min to settle back to sleep.
1:30ish-back to sleep
2:30ish-Samara needs a change, I had her laying on the bed in front of me to give her a minute to finish, I am drinking a glass of water when suddenly I just drop the glass(how I managed to simply drop it is beyond me), cold water all over my lap, and the bed. I somehow miss the baby thank goodness. Clean up that, change the baby, feed her.
3:30ish-back to sleep
6:15-Samara needs a change again, then as I'm trying to feed her back to sleep Payton is up.

Anyone else out there had a baby who would poop almost every couple hours? How long will this keep up? I am easily more tired now than a couple weeks ago, it's starting to catch up with me I guess.

On another topic altogether, today is Rod's last day at his current job! Scary but very very exciting. I pray this is the right move for him, that this is where he is supposed to be for now.

Going to go get changed so I can take Payton for a play date, maybe I'll get a good nap out of her today(unlike yesterday).

Have a good day everyone.

Funny

Click here.

Is it time for bed yet?

I could sleep all day. Only I can't..whine whine....complain complain....

Samara didn't get a good nap yesterday and consequently was way overtired last night. It was a late late night. Today I am hoping for a nap. The mess can wait.

Samara is a month old today!! She weighed in at 9lbs 12 ounces yesterday so she's growing very well!

EI messed up on processing Rod's parental leave. They got the start day wrong even though he told them the 15th, and for some reason Rod's new job is complicating things as well. I don't see why because when he applied he hadn't taken the job yet, and it doesn't start for a month after his claim. Grrrrr.......we need that money for things like rent......very frustrating!

Yup, I'm really not interesting today, just tired. Maybe it's time for some pictures.

Wow, I'm on a run.

This has been how many days in a row? Excellent!

Nothing to exciting today. I'm tired, very very tired. You know the tired when all you can think about is how your going out today and are not going to get even the opportunity to try to nap so are forced to count down the hours until bedtime.

As we were putting Payton to bed last night Rod noticed the floor was wet. Oh dear. The water was coming in through the floor? Wall? I don't remember but from somewhere it shouldn't to torment me. It happened once last year and I thought they had fixed the problem, I'm guessing they thought they had as well. Oh well, so we tried to dry out the carpet some and had to move the bed as it's press board and the wet would ruin it. To move the bed somewhere dry we had to move the bookshelf which involved taking everything off it and so on and so on. There is an even bigger mess around here than there was now.......Sigh........Anyways to make a long story short we all got to bed very very late, then Payton was up early. Today's going to be fun, oh well we'll have to make the best of it.

On a good note, the carpet seems to be drying quickly! We have a midwife appointment this morning and we are all fed, brushed, dressed and ready to go! Accomplishment I tell you big big accomplishment......

And just for laughs Damomma has a great new post here.

It's just easier to be wet.....

Feeling rather dry in my faith lately, been feeling a gentle prodding or rather a swift kick back in the right direction. I feel different these days and have to re-evaluate myself, and my relationship with God. I feel excited though, like I'm discovering how much I really missed and loved an old friend and am so glad they are still around. Something is in the air lately, a shift, a change, I'm not sure what this year holds but something is definitely in the works. I pray that I can grasp hold of what I need to and hang on for the duration.

Found this today, made me think. For the whole post go here.

Galatians 4: 9 But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces ? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?

I turn back because it’s easier….I turn back because I forget that THAT is my wetness, like a fish in a goldfish bowl I forget that I am even wet, that I am that prone to sin, I don't even see it as sin...??…..and in the forgetting I get further and further away from God…He doesn’t leave me, He knew I was wet in the first place... but in my forgetting I get further away from Him……I turn back because it’s just easier to live in my wetness than to see how WET I am…..a faith walk is HARD WORK but the benefits far outweigh the work of it…..it’s just easier to BE WET……

Just wanted to say

I've been concentrating on just getting by, on being the best mom I can be and figure out how everything is going to work now. Between not being able to do anything for awhile, being sick, migraines, and plain old fatigue my house is a disaster. Yet it's not the end of the world, it won't be like this forever(maybe until we have more space though). I've got a lot on my mind, emotions are very present, here comes the amazing part. I feel peace.

I haven't been good with bible reading, or praying even, but I have been trying to feel God. Feel him in my life and let him touch me, let him guide me, and show through me. He's there. I still don't know how everything is going to work out, where what we need is going to come from but right now at this very moment I know it will. And that's enough.

I was blog surfing earlier as I was grabbing some lunch and came upon this quote "Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the realization that there is something more important than fear." here. Very powerful, thought I would pass it along.

Unbelievable

Another migraine this AM. It sucks. At least I caught it early when Samara woke to eat and was able to take drugs and go back to sleep. But still, it's crazy annoying.

Samara does WAY better sleeping in her bassinet, it blows me away. After Payton who thought you were killing her if you put her in the bassinet and probably only slept all of 10min in it at a time. Everyone has been a lot happier around here the last couple of nights now that we are figuring out what Samara wants and needs for her own specific personality. It re-enforces that everyone is born with such different personality. I remember thinking so many times when Payton was little that I was doing something wrong, that it was my fault she was fussy. It took a long time to believe I was doing a good job!

I started Payton in panties(AGAIN) this morning. She more than capable of peeing on the potty, she just hasn't wanted to. Now she has no choice! I bought chocolate eggs yesterday for a special incentive(the stickers just weren't doing it) and she's currently eating #3, and has tried more times than that. She really wants those eggs! I think she's going to be on a sugar high today.

I have more I want to write but the brightness of the monitor is hurting my head so it will have to wait.

Happy Monday everyone.

Last night

Well, good news and bad news. I was up almost all night again last night. The good news was it wasn't Samara keeping me up. I was sick, I had a very upset stomach. It was annoying to be up when Samara was sleeping, I was so thankful to have Rod there to help me.

Samara was so overdone last night. She couldn't figure out how to get to sleep. I knew I couldn't let her cry and decided to see if I could help her get to sleep another way. I made sure she was fed, changed, and ready for sleep. I wrapped her up, cuddled her for a few minutes and put her in her bed. Every few minutes she would complain, I would go immediately to her pick her up, comfort her until she stopped complaining(usually a minute or less), offer her the soother, re-wrap her if she needed and put her back in her bed. And surprise surprise, it only took about 30-40min and she went to sleep. It was fun when Payton woke up and I was going back and forth between the bedrooms. I can't imagine having multiples! After she went to sleep she woke about every 3 hours to eat and immediately went back to sleep, I re-wrapped her and put her in her bassinet. I actually thinks she sleeps better in it! One time when she needed changing she just kinda dozed through it and was fine when we put her back to bed. I was amazed. Today for her nap I followed the same procedure and it was a pleasant experience. I know it won't always go smoothly but at least I have a game plan now!

Of course it wasn't long after going to bed that I woke in pain but you can't win them all! At least I seem to be over whatever it was now. Here's to hoping for good sleep tonight!

I have a 3 wek old

Who is overtired. We had a hard night. A very very hard night. 4 people, very little sleep, it did not make for a happy morning.

I had a fabulous afternoon though(thank you thank you thank you)!!

We are gearing up for another hard night. I have a headache already. Samara has hardly slept at all today, she was wide eyed and observant. Now thinks she needs daddy to be carrying her a certain way, moving a certain way to even close her eyes. Then says SURPRISE every time we think she's dozing. She's overdone, and very soon, so will we be. I think from spending the last couple weeks observing Samara that she's very observant and aware of her surroundings, light, movement, noises, all seem to keep her from sleeping. With Payton she always wanted to be moving, with Samara she's more aware of movement around her. I think maybe even my movement when she's in bed with me has been disturbing her. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense of this so I will stop rambling and move on.

We will be figuring out a schedule, a gentle one because she is so young, to encourage her to sleep. I feel mean even considering letting her cry, even for a minute or 2 because she is so little. I don't think I could do it. I think something more like a bedtime routine so she knows what to expect and going to her when she fusses but being consistent with putting her back to bed afterwards. The frustrating part is that she usually takes good naps in her bassinet, just not at night.

The good thing is that having already gone through this with Payton, I know it's only temporary and I know I CAN do this. So often with Payton there did not seem an end in sight, but there was. Really this newborn sleeplessness that seems never ending is only a very short piece of parenting, and thank goodness for that! I'm very tired but so much more relaxed than last time.

Sigh.....we'll figure it out eventually.

This was kinda fun

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Guess what guess what guess what??

I got Samara smiles today! I'm so excited!! 4 or 5 full on grins at Mom, one accompanied with a happy noise! I love it!

It's.....

FRIDAY!!!!!! Yeah!!

"It's friday...field trip day...."

Oh crap

Samara is sleeping.

I just put Payton down for her nap.

Was going to clean, need to clean, want to clean.

Vision is going, a migraine is coming....AGAIN. Second time this week. First one took 3 days to be gone completely. This morning was the first time this week I though to myself I feel good.(Then my kid was a stinker all morning but that's another story)

Off to find the T3's and hope my girls sleep for a bit.

Sigh.

Still around!

We've been doing pretty well. Trying to adjust and figure out how everything is going to work. Had a migraine yesterday, a really intense one. I still have a headache left from it today. Payton has been really whiny and pushing her boundaries, and has started this fake crying thing which drives me bananas. I'm trying really hard to be patient but at the same time not let her get away with anything. It's really difficult.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to keep this place neat for the next little while. I find I don't have much childless time and the few minutes I steal just don't stretch far enough. When Samara is sleeping I try to get some stuff accomplished but Payton needs some Mommy time as well. If Samara will sit in the swing for 10min it is usually used for dressing/cleaning Payton, or feeding her or myself. Naps very rarely overlap. Which at the moment they are both sleeping, I will very quickly be getting off here and trying to find my floors.

I haven't been on the computer much and when I have been there hasn't been time to leave comments but I have still been reading. Actually I tried leaving a couple comments over the last couple of days but the visual verification on those particular blogs hasn't been letting me(it won't display the letters). So I gave up since I don't have time to fiddle with it and figure out why.

K gotta run before my girls wake up, maybe I'll have more time tonight for more specific updates. But no promises!

Day 1

Today is the first day at home without Rod. It's actually going pretty well(I should bite my tongue!).

Payton just went down for her nap(I think she is finally asleep). Hmm....I think that is the baby I hear, it figures! Oh well, at least I can feed uninterrupted!!

Finally, a few pics

Payton likes to help bath the baby, and her doll, and her toys, and my floor......

Payton cuddling with Samara

Samara sleeping...in her bassinett...imagine that....

Aunty Mandy getting some cuddles

Such little hands

Resting with Daddy

Pics

Since I haven't posted any more pics, I thought I would link to the beautiful scrapbook layout Kay did with Samara photos. It's here.

Wow!! My baby is a week old already!!

Time is flying by!! Happy one week Samara!!

I noticed on Tues a strange rash in Samara's armpit, the midwife happened to be here and she wasn't sure what it was so she took a swab and told me to call if it got any worse. Last night I noticed it was also in her other armpit and spent a great deal of time worrying about it and searching on the net. I called the midwife this morning and told her it was spreading(I also found a spot on her back), she got us in to see a pediatrician right away to be on the safe side. I wasn't to worried only because she seemed fine in all other ways but the thought that something was wrong with my newborn eats at my insides. So off we went, he was really good, awesome with Payton too. It turned out he was the pediatrician in the room when Samara was delivered! That was funny. Anyways, she has a staph infection, it's a topical bacterial infection. Nothing to serious but needs to be treated quickly before it gets worse. So we have cream and antibiotics, if it continues to get worse they will have to give her antibiotics through an I.V. I get to try to feed my newborn medicine 4 times a day! FUN!! So Payton didn't have antibiotics until she was 2.5 and Samara made it all of a week!

Other than the rash, she is doing really really well. She's breastfeeding like a pro and gaining weight accordingly. Payton is doing pretty well adjusting. There has been some obvious acting out and attention seeking, but I expected that. I worry about being a good mom to 2, but really I can only do the best I can.

I'm sorry this isn't pictures. Maybe tomorrow!

Days and Nights

Well, we have our days and nights messed up around here. Never really experienced this before, Payton didn't really mix them up so much as just never slept. Where as Samara has been having good sleep during the day and not so much at night. I'm so glad Rod is here as he lets Samara and I sleep in when Payton gets up.

I'm going to try to get some pictures posted today as my girls are just so cute and want to show them off!! Just means a little sitting and editing, I'll try to make it priority.

Quickie post

I just realized neither Rod or I posted any info regarding birth weight ect! Oops! I also want to post about my birth experience but think that will have to wait because I need a shower!

Samara was born weighing 8lbs 13.5 ounces, 20.5" at 8:37am. It would have been earlier but they had a hard time getting the spinal in me, they tried 4 times before it took. Yeah, that was fun! I was praying it would work because I didn't want to be put under!

Congratulations to Nicole for being the closest all around guess, saying girl and 8lbs 8ounces. Shari was the closest in weight guessing 8lbs 13 ounces. There weren't many girl guesses period, she surprised a lot of people!!

We are still doing well, the midwife was here today and Samara is already gaining weight like a trooper! When we left the hospital on Sat she weighed 7lbs 14.5ounces and today she was 8lbs 6 ounces! She'll be back up to birth weight in no time!

Hope everyone out there is doing well, I haven't been on the computer much so haven't been checking on the blogs to check up.

Oh and any suggestions for middle names starting with M? Rod has a family tradition of double middle names(which is twice as hard), we have one we think but need one more. Any suggestions??

Samara

I am so in love.

I wondered when I was pregnant if it was possible to love someone as much as I love Payton. I was worried I would take favorites. I never thought the emotions would be so big, so overwhelming again.

I have fallen in love all over again. And yes, the term "fallen" in love is perfect. I have loved her since conception but over the last few days have fallen in love with her all over again. And with Rod, and Payton. I am enamored with our family.

Nothing, absolutely nothing could describe my joy. I'm tired, a little sore, and overwhelmed often, but it is with great joy, love, and peace that I move one foot ahead of the other and tackle the next day.

Oh and Yes, her name is Samara. We still haven't settled on the middle names, but it's nice to have a name to call her. And she suits it.

We're home

Hey everyone, just a quick note to say we're home. I've been doing really well, much better than I anticipated. We are busy and tired, but very very happy with our new daughter. I hope to post more soon.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and congratulations.

Oh yeah, and we almost have a name, will share soon!

the baby photos you have been waiting for

ITS A GIRL!!!
mommy and baby are doing great, probably get out of the hospital on sunday.

still no name yet..

It's baby day!

Off we go, just a few minutes behind when I wanted to leave. There are so many things going through my head and no time to write it down. Hopefully I will remember and write it down later. Next time I post I will be mommy to 2!

To the Littlest McLatchy, we love you very much and are so excited to finally meet you!!

2 hours!!

Nothing like last minute mind changes...

In 12 hours or less I will be up and preparing to go to the hospital....AHHHH.....

I change my mind!! I think one is good!!

Last 30min or so I've been having a big panic attack.

My kid is grumpy and clingy, she hates coughing, and is wondering when the medicine will start working(so do I), she doesn't want to be far from me and I oblige but of course that means nothing else around here got accomplished. It's now suppertime and I look around and see clutter, this is NOT what I wanted to come to. Come home...with another baby..I'm going to have 2 kids 2!!!!!! Not 1 but 2!!! Then when I have grumpy, sick Payton days I won't be able to give her 100% attention, I'll have to say things like I know your feeling grumpy and sick but I'm sorry I can't cuddle with you right now, how comforting will that be?? I know I know we'll manage but man everything feels weird right now. I am SO emotional and SO hormonal it's not even funny. I think I'm going to bawl tomorrow, sadness, happiness, new beginnings, very very scary.....

Please someone tell me this irrational, hormonal, emotional mess that is me at this very moment is normal, tell me I'm not the only one to change my mind at 9 months pregnant, tell me I'm not a bad mom for changing my mind!!I love this baby so much and want it with all my heart but man I'm having a hard time adjusting to the reality of it all.

And I just want to add that anybody coming to visit me at home next week please ignore the mess, I can't foresee it getting any better than it is right now! I guess my favorite saying will be If your coming to see us your welcome anytime, if your coming to see my mess please make an appointment, and that just may be days, weeks, months from now!!

Ok, going back to my sweet kid who is crying like a banshee because I won't let her go outside and play in the rain when she is sick.......sigh.........

0 days.....0 days..... 0days!!!

La la la

Should be cleaning..oh well!!

My kid is FINALLY asleep! No, I am not napping, just couldn't today, brain whirling around!! I did pass out briefly on the couch earlier when I was having a cuddle with Payton. Cuddles seemed important on this the last day of her only-childness. My baby is going to be a big sister!! I am going to tidy, laundry ect when I finish this.

So far on the guessing game we have 16 guesses, 12 of which say boy, 4 for girl. Weight ranges from 7 lbs 9 ounces to 11 lbs 1 ounces(OH MY!) I am thinking more towards 9 lbs something than my previous guess of 8 lbs 9 ounces but am going to leave my guess as is! Only one person offered a different due date, which would be today!! There are still many hours left today so we'll see!! There are many who have guessed that don't do the online thing and they have mostly said boy as well, so we'll see!! There is still 16 hours to guess here.

I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to post anything in the am before we leave tomorrow, it will be very very early!! I'm sure there will be updates online at some point tomorrow, and of course many of you will get phone calls. If anyone posts anything(updates, pics ect) could you leave a comment here so others can check it out if they want. I know Rod will post at some point Thursday but don't know when. It depends if the hospital has wireless Internet.

Thanks to everyone for all your support and excitement!!

0 days!! 0 days!! 0 days!!

Does that thing say 0 days????

OH MY!!!

O days...........

Am I ready???.....NO...will I ever be???? Probably not!! LOL

Come on baby!!!

I'm excited!!

2 Sleeps to go!

OH MY GOSH!!! When did it get to be tues? 2 full days and 2 sleeps until we meet baby!!

Because I wasn't anxious enough....Payton has come down with a cough, it made us all miserable last night and tired this morning. I am thinking I'll take her down to the walk in clinic this morning because it's gotten flemy sounding :( I've heard there is a cold going around where it seems you are better then it comes back worse and sometimes leads to chest infections. I'm worried about Payton being sick around her new sibling, and I'm worried about me catching it and getting the Cesarean postponed.

The car is toast, not worth fixing. That makes me sad, it was my first car and has treated us well. Rod has picked up a little Toyota Tercel from a guy at work for cheap. It seems to be a good little commuter car. Big thanks to Phil for helping us through our car woes. We tried to figure out how we could make being a one vehicle family for awhile work but just couldn't seem to make everything jive so when Rod found the new car we felt it was the best option.

Bye bye sweet car!!

I'm very tired lately and ready to have this baby. I really want this place spick and span before I go into the hospital but find I tire so easily it's very fustrating. Yesterday I re-arranged stuff outside and cleaned up the yard, I even hosed down the concrete(under the bird feeder was DISGUSTING)!! It's not perfect but so much better! It had been driving me insane, the mess outside, but that really wasn't a good idea. I was so sore the rest of the day from the bending and lifting. But on the bright side, it looks much better out there!

I told Payton we were going to see the Dr about that cough and she's freaking out about it, saying "No hospital!! Cough all gone Mommy cough all gone!", I'm not sure where this anxiety came from she's never been to the Dr for anything before.

Payton and I were trying to cuddle on the the couch this morning and the baby kept pushing her away from the belly. It was to funny.

Don't forget to add your guess about the sex and weight of the baby to the post below if you haven't already!

Put on your guessing hats!

Had a nice day today, consisted mostly of a friends wedding and visiting with Rod's Dad and Step Mom. I was a good time. Not productive but good.

I figure it would be fun to have a baby poll, see who guesses correctly. I guess we can't really guess about when baby will be born(unless you think baby will come early or flip before thurs) as the C-Section is booked for Thurs. The actual scheduled time is 7:45am. But it would be interesting to see guesses on sex and weight. Rod says I should throw a what will or what should we name the baby category as we haven't decided on names either(suggestions would be good!)

For reference Payton was born at 37 weeks 3 days and weighed 8lbs 4ounces.

And the winner will get....well the satisfaction of being right!! I don't have prizes!

I'll start I say:

We make it to thurs(power of positive thinking)
Boy/8 lbs 9 ounces

SQUEAL!!!

SUSAN AND TERRY ARE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!!!

giggle...................

Can't help myself

Need to tidy....can't keep my eyes open....going to lay down.....

Sigh....don't you wish your house cleaned itself?

No title

Feeling very contemplative today, very melancholy.

I found a blog awhile ago, just stumbled across it. It's very real, very raw, not something a very pregnant woman should be following but I can't help myself, I'm invested. A very brave woman, a very brave family is facing cancer head on and sharing there experiences. It's written by both the husband and the wife, although mostly the husband now. It's only been about a month since they started, since they found out. They have a small daughter, and she was pregnant when they found out, she isn't now. It's so hard. I went back and read through the archives, and bawled. I just couldn't imagine. It's beautifully written, if you can say that about something written about cancer. Anyways if you want to check it out it's here.

Anyways I had more I was going to post, about my kid, about how gorgeous and wonderful she is. About rocking out with her this morning listening to the music on Shari's most recent post. More about my anxieties. And about new friendships and old ones.

But I don't feel like it now. Maybe I will again later. Must go now and dance with my kid some more.

Thurs....already!!

Where has this week gone?? Crazy, soon it will be the week baby comes!! Guess I have to figure out what NEEDS to be done this weekend.

I am maintaining sanity by not thinking about finaces and car stuff. Everything will work out. We will pray and I will trust my husband to make good choices for us. I just can't deal with anything at this point, everything feels so big. I can only seem to wrap my head about being as good of a mom as possible to Payton and getting ready for this baby. That's it, add any other drama in there and I shut down. Completely!

So many concerns floating through my head. How will Payton adapt to having a baby here? Is it fair to take her only child status away from her? Can I be a good mom to 2? Can I love someone as much as I love Payton? Will I play favorites? How will I cope? Will my house every be tidy? Will I regret not pushing Payton's potty training? Do I baby her to much? Sigh.....the learning experience that just never ends.

Going to go make some tea and tidy some while I'm not falling over dead tired. Let's see how long this lasts!

You know gas is expensive when...

Someone stole it right out of your vehicle!! Rod goes up to the van this morning and finds the gas cap dangling and the gas light on. Nice. I'm so glad I didn't fill up yesterday because I thought I could get a better price soon. They couldn't have gotten much!

Morning...again....

So I wake up this morning and it's after 8, and I have a little cuddler snuggled in next to me. That was nice, and considering it was about 2am before I got to sleep it was a much needed sleep in. She probably would have slept longer but my bladder was telling me it was time to pee and that pregnant bladder just can't be ignored! My stirring woke her.

Payton was upset when she realized Rod was gone, she was in tears because she wanted to cuddle Dada. And didn't remember him giving her a "big hug and kiss" when he left. So we decided to call him.

Well, the car broke down and he thinks that it's finished. You've got to be kidding!! One week(ish) before delivery and he's stuck at work with no vehicle....

Panic panic panic.

He thinks the car is done, we knew it's time was limited but were hoping for longer. How are we going to afford another vehicle??

Panic panic panic.

He were looking into Parental leave for Rod so he can stay home longer considering a C-section requires a lot more recovery time. But it has 2 weeks your not paid for and we are scrimping as it is. I just don't see how we can pull it off.

Panic panic panic.

Oh NO!! I just remembered I should be leaving in 15 min for my midwives appointment!!!

Panic panic panic!!!!!!

Yup, you guessed it....

Couldn't sleep. Crazy tired during the day, can't sleep at night. Pay's been restless too, probably up 15 times already. But I was already awake. Going to try to sleep again, at this point I'll take what I can get.

Appointments

So I met with the Dr today. Baby is still very breech, head nice and high up causing all kinds of discomfort. He said the C-Section will be first thing in the morning, I should get there at 6:30 and most likely the surgery will be at 7:30.

I'll be heading back to Maple Ridge tomorrow for my midwife appointment. Then on the 12th for a PAC appointment at the hospital, I'm not quite sure what that's all about except I have to meet with a nurse to go over some stuff?? Apparently this usually happens 2 weeks before surgery but the quickest they could get me in was 3 days before!! Oh well. All the extra driving sucks, why couldn't they just have left Mission's Labour and Delivery ward open??

9 sleeps to go

I am so not a morning person, yet every day that's when I wake. Funny how that happens.

Today is my appointment with Dr. Lampen to go over cesarean info. Which reminds me, where did I put that address?

Headache....please go away......

I was trying to take a few pictures that captured the roundness of my belly, thought I'd share one. This was taken about a week and a half ago.

Hmph....

10 sleeps to go....

Where oh where has my energy gone....oh where oh where can it be????

Still have nesting instincts just no energy to do anything about it. The last 3 or 4 days I've been wildly tired. I could sleep all day! Payton had a rough night but I can't blame her for my fatigue today, I think I would feel this way regardless. I'm refusing to let myself nap today as I have to catch up for this weekends lack of getting anything done. I think Payton is finally asleep, I'm hoping she has a good nap or she could be miserable this afternoon. Oh well. Off I go to empty my dishwasher and start a load of laundry.

Kaylyn posted another preggy photo of me here.

Advice

People who like sleep, or need sleep, shouldn't have kids.

11 days and counting

Today was a laid back sort of day, way more laid back than it should have been! I find I have turned into a neat freak without the energy to actually keep it up. It's been driving me nuts!! I see clutter everywhere!! Oh well, one step at a time!

Payton had her swimming lessons with Dad this morning and I joined them! It was nice to go for a swim, I of course did many somersaults and handstands to encourage the baby to turn, to no avail. Lots of kicks and wiggles but no turning! We played for a long time, it was great fun. Rod liked it when I would float on my back and the belly would pop out of the water, I imagine it was a funny sight!

Anyways I am going to go vacuum and fold some laundry. We borrowed the movie Cars from upstairs so I hope to chill with my hubby and watch that tonight. Exciting I know!!

Kaylyn took some picts of me when I was there on wed, she hasn't sent me any yet to post but there is one here. I haven't taken many this time and haven't posted picts in awhile so that's me 36 and a half weeks preggy!

Friday!! Yeah!!

This week has gone quickly and I'm excited to have my husband home for the weekend. It's my mom's birthday as well so we will be spending some time with her. I'm looking forward to it.

The cesarean is booked for the 15th, they can't give me a time until 3-4 days before but as I'm the only one booked for that day so far it will probably be first thing in the morning but we won't know for sure until that week. I have an appointment with Dr.Lampen to go over everything on Tues so I'll have to write down all my questions before then. I'm looking for advice from all of you who've done this before. Is what you need to take to the hospital different? What is your best advice to speed recovery? Anything else? I have to admit this is causing me anxiety, I know everything will be fine in the end but still it's all so unknown! I am hoping and praying that I don't go into labour on my own now, I really want to make it to the hospital and not have a big panic!

Of course I would like it if baby would flip but part of me really thinks it's not going to happen. Baby is happy where it is and not willing to budge!

So, not counting today or the 15th that leaves 12 days to go at the most until baby is born!! How crazy is that!! Or are you supposed to count today? I don't know. Less than 2 weeks anyways!

Well, I really am exhausted today but I should get something done around here while Payton is sleeping. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Home again home again

So we are home. Everything is pretty much the same. No baby, and baby refused to turn. Baby would turn just a little but move right back as soon as The Dr let up pressure. The Dr said baby was a fighter. Stubborn!!

The procedure itself wasn't to bad. I/baby were monitored for awhile with both the fetal monitors(non-stress test) and the ultrasound. The Dr. figured the bum was settled a little low and baby probably wouldn't be co-operative but was willing to give it a try. They sprayed something under my tongue to help the uterus relax. It was quite uncomfortable and hurt some at moments but wasn't to bad overall. But baby would have none of it and is quite happy sitting were it is. The Dr. said he didn't apply as much force as some Dr's do so that makes his success rate a little lower, but also makes his complication rate lower as well. I was fine with that, I really didn't want anyone yarding on the baby, just giving it a little monitored push in the right direction. Afterwards he checked the baby on the U/S again and they kept me on the fetal monitors for probably an hour and a half. Everything was fine, I've had some slight cramping which I was told was normal considering someone was pushing on my uterus.

We talked a little about what happens now. He wants to schedule me in for a Cesarean for the 15th. He doesn't want to go any earlier to make sure the lungs are fully developed. I have to call his office and confirm tomorrow, as well as make an appointment for next week to go over everything with him. I'm fine with the 15th(it's only 2 weeks!!) and I don't want to rush this baby if it needs more time, Payton was early but that was a naturally occurring early. Of course if I have any signs of labour I'm supposed to get there fast. That's what worries me, getting there in time if I was to go early. I want to be in hospital when this baby comes!! He said that there is still a chance baby will flip, a few do in the last weeks. They will do a confirmation U/S right before the surgery just to confirm.

The midwives gave some other suggestions as to how to continue to try to turn the baby, including positioning, swimming, and acupuncture. The acupuncture weirds me out a little, has anybody heard of or tried it in regards to turning a breech baby? I'll have to do some research on that one.

Anyways, I am very very tired. I have my tea in hand and am heading to bed.

Oh my

Now I'm getting nervous! Nervous about the procedure, nervous it won't work and I'll need a C-section, nervous something will go wrong and I'll need an emergency C-section today.

Sigh...just turn baby turn!!

Will try to update as soon as possible, and those who are wanting phone calls don't freak out to quickly we'll call when we can...promise!

Baby oh baby

Well, we are still breech, but I knew that! We are going to the hospital tomorrow to see if the baby is in a good position to try to turn. If baby turns I will go home and wait for labour like usual, if it doesn't then we will be scheduling a cesarean. Probably sooner rather than later because they really don't want me going into labour on my own. Payton was early and what the midwife called a silent labour, where I really didn't feel much until I was almost ready to push. By the time we got to the hospital(2 or so hours from first pain) I was fully dilated and should have been pushing. They really don't want that with a breech. I will know more tomorrow! I'm scheduled to meet with the Dr at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon. We have to go prepared to have a baby, just in case. There is a small risk of causing a tear to the placenta, or having it start to separate from the uterus wall. If that happens we will be having a baby immediately! Oh my gosh...I need to clean...and shave my legs......

Sometimes I am so Dumb

Sigh

Stayed up late...why?? I'm not sure, stupidity I guess. Then Payton was up early, of course. Early to bed tonight!!

I have my midwife appointment this morning, I guess we'll find out what our plan of action is if this baby stays breech(which it has so far). I'll update when I get home.

Sometimes life is just like that

Pregnancy in the 3rd Trimester.

You have to pee the most when it's the hardest to reach "down under" to wipe.

Your the most tired when sleeping is the hardest(a getting up to pee, aches and pains ect)

You can't take most medication when your sick and are told to sleep it off!(see above)

Cleaning/organizing instincts kick in in the 3rd trimester when you can only work for short periods before needing a break!

Reaching your feet to do a pedicure, or bending to shave your legs is next to impossible right before many people will be up close and personal with both.

Feel free to add your own!

It's tues, a dull sort of post

Yup, day 2 of the week(I start counting on Mon). Last night Payton was somewhat better although I still couldn't sleep, no napping for me today. My cold symptoms seem to be a bit better today, still hanging on though. And I'm very tired still. I did pretty good on the relaxing yesterday. Only let myself do small, non body taxing stuff. Got some stuff done, not as much as I'd like but oh well. I'm trying to see everything, big or small as an accomplishment.

Payton has been wanting to get outside today, we didn't get out yesterday. It looks so beautiful out I think that's a very good idea. My other goal for the afternoon is to go get some laundry detergent. Somehow that got missed on the weekend and we are right out, I just can't let the pile get any bigger!

Oop, Payton is up from her nap.

Doesn't that pregnant woman do anything but complain?

I've been pushing myself. This stupid cold is hanging on but I've had so much I wanted to do I keep pushing on. Yesterday I crashed, my body said NO MORE. Went to church, grabbed a few groceries and had to lay down right after getting home. Everything ached and I couldn't keep my eyes open. When I got up I felt a little better, did I continue with the resting? Nope went out and cleaned out my van, and started re-organizing and cleaning the outside walkway. Kept at it until I started getting cold and achy. I'm just not good at relaxing right now!

I love being pregnant, I really do, but there comes a time in every pregnancy where the novelty wears off. Sometime in the last week between the lack of sleep and the cold I feel done. I want to not have to pee 4 times a night or wake to sciatic pain. I want to take cold medication like regular people. Payton has caught my cold(poor thing!!) and was up every hour or so last night, often I couldn't get back to sleep, spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling or the wall. I'm sure Rod's feeling pretty rough too.

Time is ticking away, I've reached 36 weeks now. It's a little early for baby to make it's appearance, it may need some more development time, but if it is early like Payton, that would only leave me 9 days. And so many things I want to get done!!

Oh well, guess I should stop writing/talking/complaining about it and just go do something!! Have a good Monday!

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!

I woke up yesterday with a sore throat.

No!! no no no!! I refuse to get sick.

Took extra vitamin C, spent the day in denial.

I woke up this morning feeling like I've been hit by a truck.

No!! no no no!! I refuse to get sick.

I'm sick.

Crap.

35 weeks you say?

I'm pregnant, I'm sure many of you have noticed. I've recently come to terms with it myself. I'm going to be out numbered most days, it's a scary thought.

Really though, I'm ready to meet this little person. Ready or not as of today I'm good with whenever baby decides it's time. It's a little early yet and baby probably needs a little more time to, as Payton puts it, "get bigger bigger", but I'm finished with saying you can't come yet because......you can come whenever you like.

I'm so crabby lately, it's just so unlike me, it's a foreign feeling. I don't like it very much.

I think Payton is FINALLY asleep so I'm going to go fold my laundry without her very helpful "help".

Wakey wakey.......

Coffee......where's the coffee......

Another week begins!

Well, I'm 35 weeks now! The countdown is really on now!

I've been really feeling the 3rd trimester lately, especially at night. Up several times to pee, or because of sciatic pain, or muscle aches, or just plain aches! I had a dream last nigh(a strange one) and the baby was a girl! I wonder if that's because of my subconscious or just because Misty told me she thought the U/S picture looked like a girl? I've noticed yesterday and today I'm starting too retain some water, not a lot, just enough for me to feel a little swollen. I guess that's pretty good though, not swelling until 35 weeks! The heartburn is increasing, as is the sore back. Overall though nothing to major! This pregnancy has gone pretty smoothly, I hear horror pregnancy stories from others and feel blessed.

I keep thinking about Payton's delivery and the week before and wonder how similar or different(if baby remains breech) this delivery will be. At 36 weeks 5 days with Payton I had what I thought was a "false labour", contractions that got up to 5 minutes apart and 45 sec long, lasted about 4 hours then stopped. Then all during that week I had braxton hicks contractions, annoying, but not painful. Then Payton was delivered Fri morning(37 weeks 3 days), very quickly. I would bet that those earlier contractions where progressive if anybody had checked me, that they were dilating me all week. I don't know for sure of course but that would be my guess! So being at 35 weeks 1 day today I wonder what the next couple weeks will hold. Maybe nothing!! It's fun to speculate though.

Hmmm.....my goal for today...pack hospital bags as much as possible! I was throwing together a hospital bag between contractions during my false labour last time! I just never had the notion I was going to be early!

Off to do some laundry!

Thank you!!

You know who you are.

One of those days

Today is one of those days. Not one of those horrible days just one of those that I feel like I'm doing so much but it doesn't look like it. You know?

Been trying not to think to much about the baby being breech until I talk to my midwives and see what my options are. Still hoping baby turns before delivery. They aren't in the office on Fridays but I should call and leave a message so I can talk to them mon.

Rod's on a trip, should be a very short one, he's supposed to be home tonight. Still I hate it when he's gone. I don't like not being able to talk to him whenever I want. Been feeling a little overwhelmed today and he always calms me....I can't even imagine what women whose husbands are away for long periods of time feel like!

Have a stamp/card making evening planned tonight and am looking forward to it. Payton's Grandma and Grandpa are going to watch her for a couple hours so I can go. I was so annoyed when Rod told me about the trip. But it all worked out. Payton loves her grandparents, I'm sure they'll have a good time.

Anyways, I should go do something productive while Payton is sleeping. I haven't gotten nearly what I wanted to done by now, sigh....oh well I'll keep plugging away!

So

Baby is breech! Yup, sitting very comfortably on it's bum. Everything else looks healthy and on target for growth although according to their measurements baby is 3307 grams which is 7.3lbs! They are only so accurate but still that seems big. I guess not really though because Payton was born at 37 weeks 3 days and she was 8 lbs 4 ounces, and today I am 34 weeks 4 days . She probably would have been around 7lbs at this point. The fact that the baby is big only means there is less of a chance that it will turn. No we still don't know the sex, everything was just to squishy in there to see clearly, and being that baby was sitting on that area made it even harder to see.

It was fun to watch as baby is so well developed now, but it was harder to see things because you couldn't get an over all view of everything, it was all little pieces because of babies size. Baby was giving the tech a hard time as well and being very wiggly, every time she tried to take a picture baby would move and squirm, she had to be quick! We got one picture of baby facing toward us I am going to post. It's a face front view, you can see the eyes, nose, mouth, and an arm coming up. It's fun! There's a baby in there! Now just to see what can be done to flip this baby!!

Off we go...

I'm so excited!!

And I don't have to have a full bladder this time!! YEAH!!!

Tomorrow

I have earned myself another ultrasound. Well, rather it's my stubborn baby who has earned another one!! The baby has been posterior for the last three visits(since he/she has been big enough to feel well really) which means babies back it snuggled right up against mine, pretty much straight up they think as they are unable to feel anything to the sides really. It's making it difficult for them to figure out which end is up! I even had a vaginal exam today(SO FUN) because usually they can tell for sure that way. Nope, baby was still to high to tell for sure whether the presenting part was head or bum(baby feels plenty low to me!!). So they want to know for sure and managed to get me an ultrasound for tomorrow!! If we can get the baby to flip if it is breech now is the time as the bigger the baby is the less chance they will flip. Also because I delivered a big baby early last time we need to get things figured out now.

I'm not actually to worried about it, my guess is that the baby is head down. I do always worry when I have an U/S though, there is always what if they find something wrong thought!

Oh well, if nothing else we get to take another peak at our baby tomorrow!! U/S is at 3:45, I'll update tomorrow evening!

You never know.

When hope is going to show up on your doorstep. Been having issues with asking for help, including in prayer, but he knows and he provides.

Hope comes in many forms, and is always beautiful smiling at you when you answer the door.

This n that

I got up with Rod this morning and started the day with a hot shower and a cup of coffee. It felt so good!! Usually I have been getting up with Payton and sneaking a shower in where it fits. Which is actually only usually about 30min extra sleep. I think I'm going to continue getting up with Rod, especially when the new baby arrives because who know when I'll get to shower then! I used to HAVE to shower first thing in the morning EVERY morning to even feel awake, or I would feel gross all day.

I've been having some labour anxiety lately. Especially when I think of how close it is! I know I can do it, it just isn't pleasant! And actually most of my anxiety isn't about the actual pain it's fear of delivering at home or someplace weird because I can't get to the hospital on time. Payton's delivery was very fast and I'm afraid this one will be faster! Or having Rod miss it because he's at work and can't get there in time. Or not realizing I'm in labour because I have a "regular" labor and actual "real" contractions and think it's not the real thing. With Payton my pain was like nothing described to me by any mom or my prenatal classes. I've been told to get to the hospital fast but what if I can't? Sigh. So much to worry about. Of course I also worry that this one will go way overdue and I will have to be induced and have a long hard labor that ends in c-section. Ok, I'm stopping now. As long as baby and I are healthy in the end is all that matters!!

Did 6 million loads of laundry yesterday, all of my unisex baby stuff has been washed and put away! YEAH!! Did I mention how sick of laundry I am? Made a nice meal yesterday, and there's left overs!! Double YEAH!!

So how does everyone organize kids toys? And scrap booking stuff when you don't have a specified work spot? And..well...everything...LOL!!

It's snowing....again.....

Another First!

Payton had her first swimming lesson on the weekend. Very fun!!

Oh what a night

Why is it when I most need sleep I can't??? Couldn't sleep last night, spent hours staring at the ceiling listening to Rod sleep. When I finally dozed a little I heard Payton and was up again(she didn't actually wake, she talks in her sleep). Then I spent another hour trying to get to sleep only to be woke by strange dreams, then it was having to pee 3 times, then Rod's alarm(+snooze a couple times). All in all it adds to very little sleep. I blame napping in combination with a racing mind. I am going to try to not nap today and head to bed early. Grrrr.........

Fustration with oneself

Before Christmas I concentrated all my energy at getting ready for Christmas. If I started thinking about getting ready for baby as well I overwhelmed myself, so I told myself there is plenty of time after Christmas to prepare for the little one. It's now almost halfway through Jan and I'm not ready, not even close. I've been doing some sorting and organizing, figuring out what we have, what we need ect. The trouble is I've been so tired and am starting to get achy, I get a little done and have to stop. Or when Payton's napping and I should be being constructive I'm exhausted, falling asleep on my feet and end up napping too. I obviously need the sleep but as my due date approaches I end up frustrated with myself for not being ready. I am 34 weeks along now, Payton was born at 37!! That's just crazy!! Now this baby could well decide to be overdue and I have more time to get ready, but I just can't count on that. Sigh.....I guess whatever is done when baby comes is what will be done. I just so wanted to have so many things done so I didn't have to worry about them when adjusting to having 2 kids. I think my main stress right now is space. We have none! I have a bassinet ready to put in our room but no space to put it....ARGH. We need to get rid of/organize the whole home before this baby comes or I am going to go insane!!!!

Lists, I guess I'm going to have to make some. Figure out what's priority and concentrate on that. If I end up with more time that's great. I've pulled out the unisex stuff we have, and have been loaned. Have got Payton's stuff organized so I know where all sizes of girl stuff are, I have also gone through the boy stuff we've been given and done the same. I think the main clothes issue I'm going to have is having babies in different seasons. Most of Payton's little stuff is light summer stuff, and the next size up is cool fall/winter clothes. This baby is going to be opposite. I guess I also need to pack my hospital bag and get coming home stuff ready for baby. Rod and I haven't picked out coming home outfits yet as money has been tight, pretty soon money or not we're going to have to pick something out!! LOL!! We are still working on buying some of the basics babies need(like diapers, baby wash ect), we've been buying one thing at a time when picking up groceries. All in all thankfully we haven't had to buy to much as we still have stuff from Payton and have been given/loaned other stuff as well. Oh I just remembered I have to get a bag ready for Payton too!! And figure out rides to the hospital and whose available to watch Payton. Wow, I really do need to get on that list. Tonight!! The list must be made!!

Dad's rock

Payton and I built a snow man the other day. I thought we did pretty well, it was a Payton sized snow man(I posted pics, scroll down if you want to check them out). Well yesterday Dad took her out to play in the snow and upon glancing out my window a little while later this is what I saw. Man he's huge. I guess there are some things Dad's are just better at!! Or maybe it's just Rod being ambitious!!

Imagine how big that must look to a 2 yr old!!

Rod has to reach up to put the face on!!

The finished product!(He never did get arms!)

Projects

I thought I would share with everyone the reasons for my occasional panic in Dec about being ready for Christmas. My own self inflicted two week sleep deprivation!! I made a number of our Christmas gifts this year. Which is all fine and dandy except I didn't start most of them until Dec, crazy I know. My wonderful husband helped, so I should say WE made Christmas gifts this year. I realized I didn't get pictures of them all :( Oh well you'll get the idea. We made blankets, 4 of them to be exact(was trying for 5 but that just wasn't happening!!), out of mostly jean with fleece backing. And I also tried my hand at digital scrapbooking and put together a calendar for 2007 with pics from 2006 which I got printed and sent to many relatives from Payton!

A few sample pages from the Calendar

This blanket went to Rod's sister and her husband. It had a chocolate brown fleece backing.

This one was smaller as it went to Cooper. It has been on my list of things to do for awhile. Finally I finished!!

I forgot to take pictures of the one that went to Mom & Al, and Rod's dad & Jillian. But this lovely picture Rod took of me crashed on Christmas day does show it somewhat(my Mom & Al's). The backing of this one is a beautiful deep red, and it was very cozy!! If you look closely you can see another little head on the other end of the couch. Payton doesn't crash very often but all the excitement of Christmas and Christmas eve caught up with her, she crashed waiting for the hot chocolate Oma was making her. The backing of Rod's dad and Jillians was a tan colour.

Hmmm....

Feels like forever since I've blogged. But looking at my blog I guess that's not true. I think it just feels that way because nothing has been very personal, very real. I've been going through a myriad of emotions lately, and have been feeling very raw. I've been unable or unwilling to expose my innards. Need to take some more time to process.

Everything has been going well with the pregnancy, I'm getting excited to meet this little person. We've both been growing accordingly. My blood pressure has remained stable this time(it crept up last time) although my iron is a bit low and I'm supposed to starting on some supliments to help that. I'm hoping my energy and motivation will rise when I start getting enough iron. The midwife is pretty sure baby is head down but is still posterior(back to my back) which makes it hard to tell exactly where everything is. My feeling is the baby is head down, I do hope baby flips from the posterior position before delivery though. Babies heart rate at our visit last week was 148, which is pretty much bang on what it's been all along. I'm 33 weeks today, considering I delivered Payton at 37 weeks 3 days I don't have long to get ready!! One of the things I need to do is make sure I get enough sleep, which means I need to go to bed now!! Good Night!!

Fun!

Look Mom!! Snow!!

A snow friend just my size!!

Hugs for the Snow man!!

Notice the extra arms? Payton insisted the Snow man needed 4 arms!! Too cute!


We were actually out for almost an hour and a half, my kid loves the snow!!

Do you have snow?

It was still pretty dark when I took these so it was hard to get good pictures. But you get the idea.

ARGH

So we've pretty much resigned ourselves to getting another car seat for Payton, to give her that extra time with the five point harness. Eventually we will need 2 booster seats anyways and when safety is involved other considerations fall to the wayside anyways.

We were still debating the infant seat issue. Now, our infant seat(an Eddie Bauer) has 3 strikes against it. I can't without worry use it again. We are now going to be buying a new Infant seat. ARGH. First strike was we were going to have to replace the fabric cover as it got ripped when we let someone use it. Second there was a recall on it, just needs new tethers or something but still makes you wonder. Third it failed failed FAILED the latest consumer testing of infant seats, actually most of the seats they tested did. It wasn't good. The link is here, with a quick review here. Now in my mind there is no way I would use an Eddie Bauer, it's tainted. So scary. All I want is for my kids to be safe!!